Dreaming of Joyce

Last night, January 28, 2015, I dreamt of my mother.  We were in, of all places, New York's midtown and upper west side looking for my car on a beautiful sunny day.  During our search for where I parked the car we came across a store that looked familiar to me from another dream I had years ago.  It looked like a bakery since there were cakes and pies in the window but other items that were not bakery related were also sold there.  We also watched some sort of parade that had Easter Bunnies in it.  We didn't actually watch the parade, it was more like we were trying to cross the street and got caught in the parade.  I held my mother's hand tight as we darted between the marchers to get to the other side of the street where this mysterious bakery was on a hill.  When we walked passed the bakery, I could see my car at the top of the hill and squeezed my mother's hand, looked into her eyes and smiled.  Then I woke up at 5:00 A.M. to go to the bathroom.

I awoke with a feeling of serenity.  I felt tingly and euphoric and wanted desperately to return to the dream to be with her.  Unfortunately, I could not return to sleep right away and the dream slipped away.  This dream may have been triggered by my thoughts of my mother earlier that evening when I could not open a jar and reached for the jar opening cloth that has a tight grip.  I remembered thinking to myself that I'm loosing my strength like Joyce did.  I had a bowl of soup for dinner and thought my appetite is becoming like Joyce's was where I'm beginning to eat very little and mostly pretzels, Joyce's thing was chips.  Dreams are your subconscious trying to tell you something.  What is my mind trying to work out.  Yes, there is that ache that I've had for the past five years since her death and the longing to have her with me here or there.  Just thinking about it right this moment sent tingles through me and brought a smile to my face picturing us holding hands walking the streets of New York.  Maybe we could stop in at the bakery and enjoy those treats we saw in the window...next dream, hopefully.  





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