Street Walker

Taking in the sights of Peachtree in search of a key ring for my niece, JeNae, as per her request.  It's funny that when I travel the last thing I think about is souvenirs.  I have no collectables of the places I've been and very few photos. The events are stored in my memory.  I'm not the typical traveler, meaning I don't do the sight seeing tours or hit the historic locals of a city.  I tend to blend in with the locals and find the local hangouts imagining that I actually live in the place I'm visiting.

I hit the streets in search of the key ring and to check out the karaoke place I drove by the other night.  I was exhausted on Sunday, October 13th since I didn't get in until 7:00 am from the night before.  Let's just say I had a fabulous time with the locals and I will not share the details.   They must stay here and in my memory.  My street walking took me to the Peachtree Center a mall of all places.  I passed Gladys Knights on the way, a place that serves chicken and waffles and even though I was excited to see the sign I didn't have a appetite to stop and eat.  The sign on the door "no weapons allowed" wasn't inviting.  I think that's when I lost my appetite.  I love chicken waffles but not enough to risk the possibility of getting shot.

Picked up two key rings. I have two nieces and I can't bring back one key ring.  They are the same to prevent arguing.  A trick I learned from Joyce, my mother, God bless her spirit.

The Universe, God, Budah, Allah....

Whatever your higher belief is, there are times when it presents itself to you.  In my case, it was a recent trip to Atlanta, GA to celebrate the 50th birthday of an old friend from back in the day.  I always thought that Keith and me were the same age.  In fact, the group I hung around with in the early 80's, I assumed were around my age.  Recently, I discovered that we were three to four years apart plus or minus.  What a group to come out with.  All in various stages of acceptance of who we were at that time.  

Back to the original thought of this post; the universe.  Originally I planned to stay with a friend, more of an acquaintance I met in early August through, of all places, a Craig's list post.  Close your mouth people.  Yes, from time to time I post and respond to ads.  Let's just leave it at that.  Anyway, that is how I met Mark C.  A nice guy my age, a nice evening, and subsequently a nice two month long distance texting and phone call relationship.  He is from Atlanta and when I remembered Keith's birthday invite I couldn't wait to tell him that I would be traveling to the ATL.  He was excited, I was excited and in our excitement he offered lodging at his place.  Since I planned to stay from October 11-15, needed to catch a real Drag show on the fourteenth, I informed Mark that I would stay with him for the first two nights because he would be tired of me by Sunday (said jokingly).

One week before the planned excursion Mark informed me that he had been staying with friends since he gave up his apartment before his trip to the Albany area and did not place a hold on the apartment he looked at before he left.  Needless to say, the man did not have a place for me to stay.  My reservation at the Indigo was from Sunday, October 13-15.  I instantly went into the panic business mode to find lodging for October 11-12.  I was very proud of myself for not letting him have it.  Besides his text, yes text not a phone call, indicated his shame and embareesment.  I figured his conscience would beat him up enough and there was no need for harsh words.  Besides it wouldn't get me lodging for two days and that was the more pressing issue.  I managed to get booked at the Indigo for Friday, October 11th but Saturday was totally booked.  The options were to get there and hope that I could extend my Friday booking to Saturday or book another hotel near by and move then return to the Indigo on Sunday.  I didn't like either option but did the smart thing and booked another hotel, Holiday Inn Express.  Signed up for the rewards program and a free trip to Las Vegas.  Hello Lady!

The Universe shined on me and that was just the beginning.  I ended up staying all four nights at the Indigo in room 203.  The Pride Parade past the hotel and I had a great view.  Oh, that is why the hotel was booked.  Atlanta Pride was on the Columdus Day weekend.  Bonus!

The Indigo hotel front desk clerks Amanda, Joshua, and Bradley are the best!  I received nothing but positive energy from the universe from finding lodging to meeting people who did everything possible to keep me at the Indigo for the entire stay.  Now, I do believe that if I became negative toward Mark even after he began projecting his frustration and humiliation toward me while I was there, the Universe may not have been so positive.  Karma, you receive what you put out in the universe.  During difficult times remain positive. 

What Are Your Triggers

When I went through smoking sensations the group leader mentioned that we will discover our triggers that cause us to want to light up and smoke.  Needless to say smoking sensations did nothing for me and I'm still lighting up but this isn't what I want to talk about today.

Today, I'm reviewing the triggers that I have been experiencing lately that cause me to swell up with tears.  The triggers that bring back a flood of memories of Joyce, my mother.  Just the other day, I saw an elderly woman in line at McDonald's; a place I should not be obtaining my meals from.  She was about five foot three inches tall, with white hair, a blue sweater, and a pair of blue jeans.  The way she moved through the line and the jeans she wore reminded me of my mom.  My eyes began to fill with water right there in line and for an instant I saw "Joyce".  

Recently I saw the movie "Guilt Trip" with Barbara Streisand and Seth Rogan.  IMDb has it listed as a comedy but I dabbed my eyes through most of the movie.  I was Seth and "Joyce" was Barbara.  There were many moments in the film that reminded me of my relationship with my mother.   There's nothing like a Mother and Son relationship.  I've stated in previous posts that I am an "Out and Proud Mama's Boy".

The ache in my tattered heart is still there after three years but it is soothed by the warmth of her memory and the moments we shared driving in our new neighborhood getting lost.  We were lost together and that's all that mattered.  I didn't have a navigation system then and my sense of direction is non existent.  Funny how "Joyce" is the only one who truly understood that.  She was amazed at how oblivious I was to my surroundings.  

I recall a time when I came home from work and she asked if I saw the flowers.  What flowers, I said.  The ones you passed on your way in, she responded and shook her head.  You pass the flower bed every day and you didn't see that they were in bloom?  She couldn't believe that I missed it.  My response was, Nope.  She and I laughed at my oblivion together.  I told her I was a little special and she said, you sure are.  She really got me, like no one else.

Hey, miss you ma!  Thanks for stopping by in my dreams over the past couple of weeks.  I really needed that.

Puppy Love

(continuation from February 8, 2012)...the saga continues.

...That summer I enrolled in a Summer Theatre Arts Program with Saint Rose College.  Something my mom encouraged me to day and I believe it was some sort of summer job as well.  I vaguely remember receiving a stipend.  I commuted from Watervliet to Albany for the program.  The family had lived in Watervliet for two years now and I lost contact with most of the friends and relatives from the Albany area.  Riding my bike during the summer to visit folks became very tiresome.  I was making all the effort to remain in touch with those we left behind and for what?  To be teased and taunted?  Not worth the ride.  The trips on my ten speed diminished and I moved on with my life in the suburbs.  

NYTimes.com: Spared Death, Aging People With H.I.V. Struggle to Live

Thanks for this article.  A lot of what is printed I have/am experiencing.  Four out of the 8 health conditions: cancer, heart attack, depression, and memory loss.  I'm isolated, yes my sister is downstairs but really I'm alone.  We don't hang out together.  No one comes up to visit.  If I don't stop by from time to time I would never see them other than glimpses from the window when I peer outside to see what's going on in the yard.

My current medication is the last for me.  If it stops working ill have to waite for a knew drug to pop up on the market.  Yet, I remain positive for the most part and when I need counsel, I get it.  Last year was the first time I ever went to a psychologist and the sessions before my trip to MS did me a world of good.  I'm back on track.

Who would have thought I'd be here 23 years later; diagnosed March 29, 1990 - my mother's birthday.  Like so many in the article I planned to die and didn't think I would see the 21st century.  Look at me, I'm still here.  Made it through the Y2K scare in more ways than one.

Sent from Incredimail for iPad

From: thetoastofnewyork

Sent: 9:04 AM

Subject: NYTimes.com: Spared Death, Aging People With H.I.V. Struggle to Live

Sent by thetoastofnewyork@outlook.com: Spared Death, Aging People With H.I.V. Struggle to Live By JOHN LELAND Drugs may have prevented people with H.I.V. from dying of AIDS, but even as they reach the once-unthinkable age of 50, their lives continue to be ravaged by the virus. Or, copy and paste this URL into your browser: http://nyti.ms/12VXpXs

To ensure delivery to your inbox, please add nytdirect@nytimes.com to your address book.