Bromance

TUESDAY, JUNE 15, 2010
11:23 PM

Yes it's over or a least on hold for now.  Had a falling out yesterday with my Bro and his wounds have not healed yet.  For the first time in my life I can honestly say I had a connection with a straight man who accepted me for me.  We are close like brothers in fact I call him my little bro since I am twenty years his senior.

I instantly became attached to him the first day I met and interviewed him for the position of my partner at work.  I guess it was his pure passion for the position and his openness to learn everything he could about the job and the field.  We immediately looked out for each other and I encouraged him to absorb everything I had to offer.  Not to toot my own horn but I am a wealth of knowledge and I freely share what I know.  He recognized that and dipped his laddle frequently.  I thoroughly enjoy watching him blossom knowing that in a few years he would be excellent in the field.  Always complimenting him on the job he was doing to boost his confidence.

We were connected at the hip and could often be found huddled in a doorway speaking to each other in "our" language.  We shared secrets with one another about our personal lives and I believe, though we never discussed it, he knew I was different and it didn't matter.  He is secure in who he is as am I.  He was the first of the few collegues that I informed of my bout with cancer last year.  In fact I took him to lunch to discuss it and he paid.  The sensitivity he displayed was overwhelming and we were both teary eyed.

He became my protector for the past eighteen months.  A time in my life where I went from one valley to the next; cancer, death of my mother, heart attack.  Through it all he was there for me.  Even when we both felt that we were being dumped on and under appreciated for the jobs we were doing.

My heart is heavy.  I can not believe that we had a falling out over something that is not that serious.  I should have recognized he was having a bad day and just backed off.  I should not have allowed us to embarress ourselves.  I just hope that in time the wound will heal and we can become bros once again.  I need to talk to him and apologize.  I wanted to do it today but I could tell he wasn't ready to receive it.  My spirit is telling me to do it soon though.  The thought of dieing without reconciling with him is at the forefront of my mind and my spirit will not rest until this is done.