Four songs each due to the limited patronage at Raffs and we debuted new material. The lighting was darker than usual but the vocals could be heard without a lot of background noise.
Sharing Me With You
- ECagelove
- Amsterdam, New York, United States
- May 10, 2010 my RCA (right coronary artery) was blocked and I experienced a heart attack two days before my 49th birthday. Now I can add CAD to my list of living with diseases. Life is to short, it's time to live it. Sharing my escapades and life lessons.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Karaoke @ JJ Rafferty's after Thanks Giving
The Takia Fredward Show. Rafferty's was rather empty Friday, November, 26, 2010. John, the Karaoke DJ thought it was due to the shopping frenzy and people not wanting to stop. Everyone looks for the deals on "Black Friday". Who coined that phrase? In my opinion; the pushing, shoving, trampling, and false advertising isn't worth forsaking one's sanity just to get a deal. I'm just saying.
Four songs each due to the limited patronage at Raffs and we debuted new material. The lighting was darker than usual but the vocals could be heard without a lot of background noise.
Four songs each due to the limited patronage at Raffs and we debuted new material. The lighting was darker than usual but the vocals could be heard without a lot of background noise.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Garry
Continued from October 12, 2010
We spent the rest of the evening getting to know one another. What an unlikely pair to be so engrossed in the corner of a bar; an African American and a Skinhead. Yes! I said a skinhead with a swastika patch, confederate flag, bomber jacket, bald head, tattoos, and combat boots. That is why I don’t judge on appearances, les I be judged. He does not fit the stereotype. In fact he is rather sweet and a self proclaimed “good skinhead”. The opposing attraction was magnetic and the cousins noticed it at Rafferty’s. My girls are very observant and could tell I was beside myself. It’s difficult for me to hide my emotions when I’m enthralled with someone from my heart.
Well, I’ve said it and he will probably read it. Garry shouldn’t be surprised since I have not hidden my feelings towards him. The most I can hope for is a wonderful friendship and that will have to suffice. Good friends are hard to find and I think I have found one in Garry.
Roots of the Skinhead
We spent the rest of the evening getting to know one another. What an unlikely pair to be so engrossed in the corner of a bar; an African American and a Skinhead. Yes! I said a skinhead with a swastika patch, confederate flag, bomber jacket, bald head, tattoos, and combat boots. That is why I don’t judge on appearances, les I be judged. He does not fit the stereotype. In fact he is rather sweet and a self proclaimed “good skinhead”. The opposing attraction was magnetic and the cousins noticed it at Rafferty’s. My girls are very observant and could tell I was beside myself. It’s difficult for me to hide my emotions when I’m enthralled with someone from my heart.
Well, I’ve said it and he will probably read it. Garry shouldn’t be surprised since I have not hidden my feelings towards him. The most I can hope for is a wonderful friendship and that will have to suffice. Good friends are hard to find and I think I have found one in Garry.
Related articles
Roots of the Skinhead
Thursday, October 14, 2010
The Matriarch's 84th Birthday
We celebrated my Great Aunt's 84th birthday on Friday, October 8, 2010 at JJ Rafferty's.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Garry
Continued from September 19, 2010
To get away from the tired drag show, I went out to the dimly lit patio and sat down at a table in the corner which was an advantageous point to observe the characters. I enjoy people watching and giggling to myself it's better than the "Big Gay Sketch Show" on Logo. While watching the children perform, I noticed this shaved head, suspender wearing masculine dude come out to the patio and select a seat near the back wall. I couldn't help but notice the black boots with white laces. I've always wanted a pair of boots like that. His swagger exuded confidence and the sideburns and tatts just topped off the entire look which made me tingle with excitement.
Oh, I hope he notices me I thought to myself as I stole glances in his direction. I found out later that he was stealing glances at me as well. I'm so oblivious to being cruised and most of the time I miss out on a connection since I'm not confident enough to make the first move. A simple hello, how are you would suffice but I can't seem to get up the nerve to make the first contact. I sat and drank my Cabernet and began to laugh out loud at the entertainment. Mr. Boots seized the opportunity to get up from his chair and interject funny comments into the conversation that we were obviously eavesdropping on. Wow, good looking and a sense of humor. Show me more dude. That he did. He asked if he could join me at my table and of course I said yes.
(To be continued...)
To get away from the tired drag show, I went out to the dimly lit patio and sat down at a table in the corner which was an advantageous point to observe the characters. I enjoy people watching and giggling to myself it's better than the "Big Gay Sketch Show" on Logo. While watching the children perform, I noticed this shaved head, suspender wearing masculine dude come out to the patio and select a seat near the back wall. I couldn't help but notice the black boots with white laces. I've always wanted a pair of boots like that. His swagger exuded confidence and the sideburns and tatts just topped off the entire look which made me tingle with excitement.
Oh, I hope he notices me I thought to myself as I stole glances in his direction. I found out later that he was stealing glances at me as well. I'm so oblivious to being cruised and most of the time I miss out on a connection since I'm not confident enough to make the first move. A simple hello, how are you would suffice but I can't seem to get up the nerve to make the first contact. I sat and drank my Cabernet and began to laugh out loud at the entertainment. Mr. Boots seized the opportunity to get up from his chair and interject funny comments into the conversation that we were obviously eavesdropping on. Wow, good looking and a sense of humor. Show me more dude. That he did. He asked if he could join me at my table and of course I said yes.
(To be continued...)
Sunday, September 19, 2010
JJ Raferty's
Karaoke night at JJ Rafferty’s Friday, September 10th was a mini concert for me. The girls couldn’t make it and I had invited Garry who I met last Saturday at Rocks. I went to Rocks after attending “That 70’s Float” boat ride.
The boat ride was a class reunion type of event for the classes of the ‘70’s. I had a great time on the boat ride. They had Karaoke and I just had to sing. I was honored when Dick and Katie Holmes indicated that they have been following my blog and enjoyed my writing. When Lisa Connors and Bev Clementie arrived, I was overjoyed. I didn’t bring a date and was there alone and even though it was the classes of the 70’s, I barely knew anyone or should I say, recognize anyone.
That is I didn’t recognize anyone from the days at High School, but I did recognize a few of the older classmen from the watering holes in the area. Not going to out anyone, it’s their business but let’s just say there were a few uncomfortable men on the boat ride. Dudes, your secret is safe with me. We’ll just have a few giggles about the situation the next time we see each other outside a WHS event.
After the event, I went to Rocks. I was still energized from the dancing and singing on the boat and I didn’t want the evening to end. I hadn’t been to Rocks since March and I was surprised to see that they had done some remodeling. They must have purchased the building next door since there was an opening in the wall that led to a large dance floor with a stage in front of it. Whatta’ ya’ know, there was a drag show going on. OK, this should be fun. I always get a kick out of the tired (poor) performances by the local drag talent. They are hilarious. The Drag Queens in Albany really need to DVR Ru Pauls Drag Race on Logo. Maybe they can pick up some tips on how to be a drag performer. Even better a more convincing drag performer. Instead they look like men dressed up for Halloween. The illusion is totally lost on these pathetic wannabees. A few dance lessons wouldn’t hurt either. I guess I’m spoiled by the professionalism of the NYC, Atlanta, Las Vegas, and even Buffalo drag performers who could and do pass as women during the day. They’ve honed their craft and their lip sinking is on point. Their drag (costume) is professionally made. I swear they must have designers working with them.
Surprisingly, the show was actually good. I figured they must have imported some real talent since this was and AIDS fundraiser. I found out during the week at work that the “Old Girls” were performing from a co-worker who was a performer. He informed me that they were working a deal with the Rock’s ownership to have special event nights on Saturdays and the AIDs fundraiser was the first of many to come. He also informed me that the Sunday night show was poorly organized and the performers were the “Young Girls” with no talent. So, it wasn’t just me. What a relief, I thought I was becoming jaded.
OK, so I threw the name Garry out there and just left it dangling in the air. Curious, aren’t you. Well, he’s married (partnered) for seventeen years. Get this; his partner’s name is Eddie. What a coincidence…
(to be continued)
The boat ride was a class reunion type of event for the classes of the ‘70’s. I had a great time on the boat ride. They had Karaoke and I just had to sing. I was honored when Dick and Katie Holmes indicated that they have been following my blog and enjoyed my writing. When Lisa Connors and Bev Clementie arrived, I was overjoyed. I didn’t bring a date and was there alone and even though it was the classes of the 70’s, I barely knew anyone or should I say, recognize anyone.
That is I didn’t recognize anyone from the days at High School, but I did recognize a few of the older classmen from the watering holes in the area. Not going to out anyone, it’s their business but let’s just say there were a few uncomfortable men on the boat ride. Dudes, your secret is safe with me. We’ll just have a few giggles about the situation the next time we see each other outside a WHS event.
After the event, I went to Rocks. I was still energized from the dancing and singing on the boat and I didn’t want the evening to end. I hadn’t been to Rocks since March and I was surprised to see that they had done some remodeling. They must have purchased the building next door since there was an opening in the wall that led to a large dance floor with a stage in front of it. Whatta’ ya’ know, there was a drag show going on. OK, this should be fun. I always get a kick out of the tired (poor) performances by the local drag talent. They are hilarious. The Drag Queens in Albany really need to DVR Ru Pauls Drag Race on Logo. Maybe they can pick up some tips on how to be a drag performer. Even better a more convincing drag performer. Instead they look like men dressed up for Halloween. The illusion is totally lost on these pathetic wannabees. A few dance lessons wouldn’t hurt either. I guess I’m spoiled by the professionalism of the NYC, Atlanta, Las Vegas, and even Buffalo drag performers who could and do pass as women during the day. They’ve honed their craft and their lip sinking is on point. Their drag (costume) is professionally made. I swear they must have designers working with them.
Surprisingly, the show was actually good. I figured they must have imported some real talent since this was and AIDS fundraiser. I found out during the week at work that the “Old Girls” were performing from a co-worker who was a performer. He informed me that they were working a deal with the Rock’s ownership to have special event nights on Saturdays and the AIDs fundraiser was the first of many to come. He also informed me that the Sunday night show was poorly organized and the performers were the “Young Girls” with no talent. So, it wasn’t just me. What a relief, I thought I was becoming jaded.
OK, so I threw the name Garry out there and just left it dangling in the air. Curious, aren’t you. Well, he’s married (partnered) for seventeen years. Get this; his partner’s name is Eddie. What a coincidence…
(to be continued)
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Karaoke At Peddler's Bistro
The girls and I went to Peddler’s Bistro in Clifton Park on Friday the 3rd and had a marvelous time despite the idiot DJ. Even with the on board GPS, I managed to miss the place. Peddler’s offers free valet parking, unbeknownst to me. I was a little apprehensive to turn my fob over to the attendant but his beautiful smile put me a ease. He asked if it was my first time there and I said yes, I was there for Karaoke. The attendant, Eric, requested a shout out when I got up to sing. I knew then that it was going to be a good night that is until I met the DJ.
Karaoke didn’t begin until around 9:00 PM after the band finished playing on the patio. Nia sent a link to Stilly’s Entertainment which is the Karaoke Company. The website had bios of their DJ’s and their entire song list. DJ Billie has a very hot picture on the website with an interesting bio. However, as a customer service representative he has a lot to learn. My group noticed that he was very cold and unwelcoming when receiving our slips. He didn’t acknowledge us or the songs we selected. He basically snatched the slip out of my hand and tossed off to the side. Not on or near a pile where there were other slips that had been turned in by but under the counter top. I actually leaned over the counter to see where they landed. Needless to say, his actions irked me and I knew what I had to do…
Nail my performances!!
Karaoke didn’t begin until around 9:00 PM after the band finished playing on the patio. Nia sent a link to Stilly’s Entertainment which is the Karaoke Company. The website had bios of their DJ’s and their entire song list. DJ Billie has a very hot picture on the website with an interesting bio. However, as a customer service representative he has a lot to learn. My group noticed that he was very cold and unwelcoming when receiving our slips. He didn’t acknowledge us or the songs we selected. He basically snatched the slip out of my hand and tossed off to the side. Not on or near a pile where there were other slips that had been turned in by but under the counter top. I actually leaned over the counter to see where they landed. Needless to say, his actions irked me and I knew what I had to do…
Nail my performances!!
Monday, August 23, 2010
JJ Rafferty's Video Playlist 8/20/2010
JJ Raferty's again. We were the show this time. No one outside of our party was singing. The bar was empty during the Karaoke time but the crowd came in around nine. Our beer and ice guy for the night, Bobby, Mmmm. Couldn't get a picture of him but let's just say that lifting the buckets of ice and cases of beer is a pretty good work out for the biceps.
No editing, just uploaded from the camera.
No editing, just uploaded from the camera.
Friday, August 13, 2010
...In The Beginning
Jacqui recovered from her injury and was back to her normal tag along self when she was hit by a Freihoffer bread truck. Well she wasn't exactly run over. The truck driver hit the breaks but the sudden stop of the truck, jerked it forward and bumped the object in fron of it; my sister. She was knocked down and only had a few scrapes. This time it was definitely my fault.
She wanted to go with me and the guys to the corner store and I told her to go ask mommy. The plan was that while she went into the house to ask for permission, we could go to the store and get back without her. Little Miss Tagalong was quick. She got permission and was seconds behind me when I got to the store. I quickly makde my purchase and left her in the store. As I got half way down Alexander Street, I hear Jacqui calling, "Eddie, Eddie, cross me!" She wanted me to go all the way back to the corner and check both sides for traffic. Mind you, she crossed herself to get to the store. I ran a few yards up the block to check for traffic on the left. I couldn't really see the right side, but I said, "Ok, cross!" As soon as she stepped into the street, the Freihoffer truck appeared on the right side where she was crossing and slammed on the brakes. I witnessed my sister almost squashed by a bread truck.
The terror raced through my heart and I took off after her to see if she was all right. When I got to the corner the driver exclaimed, "I'm so sorry. I didn't see her. She came out of nowhere. Is she alright?" I said, "Yeah, she'll be ok." I knew she would because she wasn't crying. Instead she was saying, "I'm telling mommy that you didn't cross me right!" I knew I would get the extension cord for that one so I bribed her not to tell. From that point on I had to take her with me everywhere I went. She held it over my head for quite a long time. You would think the little thing would forget but she was quick to remind me that we had a secret.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She wanted to go with me and the guys to the corner store and I told her to go ask mommy. The plan was that while she went into the house to ask for permission, we could go to the store and get back without her. Little Miss Tagalong was quick. She got permission and was seconds behind me when I got to the store. I quickly makde my purchase and left her in the store. As I got half way down Alexander Street, I hear Jacqui calling, "Eddie, Eddie, cross me!" She wanted me to go all the way back to the corner and check both sides for traffic. Mind you, she crossed herself to get to the store. I ran a few yards up the block to check for traffic on the left. I couldn't really see the right side, but I said, "Ok, cross!" As soon as she stepped into the street, the Freihoffer truck appeared on the right side where she was crossing and slammed on the brakes. I witnessed my sister almost squashed by a bread truck.
The terror raced through my heart and I took off after her to see if she was all right. When I got to the corner the driver exclaimed, "I'm so sorry. I didn't see her. She came out of nowhere. Is she alright?" I said, "Yeah, she'll be ok." I knew she would because she wasn't crying. Instead she was saying, "I'm telling mommy that you didn't cross me right!" I knew I would get the extension cord for that one so I bribed her not to tell. From that point on I had to take her with me everywhere I went. She held it over my head for quite a long time. You would think the little thing would forget but she was quick to remind me that we had a secret.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
...In The Beginning
One day I was walking past the shed to get to the side of the house where the concrete yard was ground level when Mr. Tom Cat appeared in the door of the shed. The shed was built on concrete, which was about four feet high. My head just reached slightly above the concrete where the shed structure base began. There I was with Mr. Tom Cat in my face with the fur raised on his back crouched in an attack position screeching at me. He launched at my head and landed on my back. I could feel his claws through my shirt. Screaming, I ran to the back door whaling my arms towards my back to get him off. Joyce came running to the back door to see what was wrong. In tears and whaling I said, “The cat tried to get me”. I had managed to get Mr. Tom Cat off of me before she came to the door. She wrapped me in her arms and said, “You’re ok, baby. Mommy’s here.” From that point on I never went in the yard or walked past the shed by myself again. I always took my little sister. She was a rough and tough Tomboy.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Day At The Track
On Sunday, August 8, 2010 I went to the Saratoga Race Track for the first time this season to reconnect with friends, Jozette and Jo-Anne. I wasn’t sure of how I would handle being at the track without Joyce. That was our thing, well her thing, during the summer. I was the driver who was bribed with the promise of a sausage and peppers sandwich. Joyce really didn’t have to bribe me. I enjoyed our days at the track together or our drives to nowhere discovering new things in Montgomery County and discovering new restaurants and fish fry places. The sausage and peppers sandwich along with the Sunday give-away at the track was gravy on a delicious plate of time spent with Mom.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
...In The Beginning
On my day of solitude in the playroom, Pinky and Tony came over to play. It was ok with me. They were the only boys I played with. I was scared of other boys and there weren't any boys my age in the neighborhood. We had a good time playing with my trucks, cars, buggy and wagon. Like I said, the room was very large, we could roll around in the buggy and the wagon. They would roll me around the room in the wagon really fast. In the beginning it was fun but then it got scarey as they went faster. They ran out of breathe and took a rest. This was my chance to escape and get out of the wagon. As I was getting out of the wagon I got busted. They said let's do it again. I was afraid and said, "No!" They tried to put me back in the wagon and we began to wrestle. I ended up laying over the wagon so they couldn't put me in it. One of them tried to pull me off and in doing so, collapsed on top of me.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
...In The Beginning
I have flash memories of the things I was aware of concerning Charles. I knew he was different and the family always spoke about ihim in whispers. He always tayed in his room when we came over. It was like the family didn't want me near him or he felt guilty about my burns. I found myself trying to get into his room. I felt drawn to him for some reason d didn't know why. I know he looked like a girl to me. I guess he was a drag queen. I don't really know, but that is a flash I have. I see him warapping himself with a large bandage all around his chest and stomach. I remember seeing him in a wig and lipstick. I was curious as to what he was doing and I couldn't have been any more than three-fours years old.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
...In The Beginning
...Recently, I discovered the truth about my legs. The love of my life, Nathaniel, told me. He and Charles have remained friends after all these years. Since Nanthaniel (Nate) and I were reunited, I asked him if he knew how my legs got burned. He wasn't sure but indicated that he would find out. By the next day he had the answer. Charles informed Nate that I didn't climb into a tub of hot water.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Emotional Day
I'm overwhelmed with emotions today. My chest was hurting this morning as if I was experiencing another artery blockage. I can not seem to defeat this nicotine addiction. My mind is wondering and missing my mother. I feel like the commercial where the lady is being wound up to start her day. The happy facade is not working form me. The darkness is hovering over me and I can not see the light.
Monday, July 26, 2010
...Heart Attack
MONDAY, JULY 26, 2010
9:05 PM
(Continued from July 15, 2010)
…The next day I get a call from my cousin Nia, Aunt Kay’s oldest grandchild.
“Hey Edward, How are you doing”, Nia asked. “Hey baby, I’m fine”, thinking I would pull the wool over her eyes. Nia burst that bubble quickly. Miss Girl let me have it. What ever happened to respecting your elders? She informed me that she was aware of my heart attack and that I was in the hospital. She also indicated that Nana (Aunt Kay) was upset that I didn’t tell her when she spoke to me on my birthday. I said, “I didn’t want her to get worried.” Nia had a valid point when she said that not hold things back from her grandmother. We should give her the opportunity to deal with the situation instead of her finding out through the grape vine that things aren’t what they seem. That causes more stress on her than the truth. I agreed with her and promised not to do it again. Nia pointed out that the family always does this and then the grandchildren have to clean up the mess. I must say this was good advice from a youngin’. She’s all grown up now.
9:05 PM
(Continued from July 15, 2010)
…The next day I get a call from my cousin Nia, Aunt Kay’s oldest grandchild.
“Hey Edward, How are you doing”, Nia asked. “Hey baby, I’m fine”, thinking I would pull the wool over her eyes. Nia burst that bubble quickly. Miss Girl let me have it. What ever happened to respecting your elders? She informed me that she was aware of my heart attack and that I was in the hospital. She also indicated that Nana (Aunt Kay) was upset that I didn’t tell her when she spoke to me on my birthday. I said, “I didn’t want her to get worried.” Nia had a valid point when she said that not hold things back from her grandmother. We should give her the opportunity to deal with the situation instead of her finding out through the grape vine that things aren’t what they seem. That causes more stress on her than the truth. I agreed with her and promised not to do it again. Nia pointed out that the family always does this and then the grandchildren have to clean up the mess. I must say this was good advice from a youngin’. She’s all grown up now.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
…In The Beginning
Uncle Howard was a hard working state trooper. He wasn’t around much. I think he needed to get away from Aunt Loie. She was enough to drive you crazy. Whenever we all got together, including my father, an argument would always ensue between the adults. The gathering would end abruptly when Uncle Howard would go to the closet where he kept his gun. Those were scary times for a child and I am still afraid of guns and policemen, state troopers in particular.
In the beginning I was there but I have been negligent in revealing the dreaded baby picture. You know, the awe he’s so cute picture. Well, here it is. It’s not a very good photo, but then again when you’ve seen one new born you’ve seen them all. Thank God it’s not the naked baby picture. Joyce loved to embarrass me with that one by showing it to my girlfriends. Of course they thought it was cute. You’ll see that my mother had a way with my girlfriends. They became very attached to her and remained in contact with her even after we were no longer together.
In the beginning I was there but I have been negligent in revealing the dreaded baby picture. You know, the awe he’s so cute picture. Well, here it is. It’s not a very good photo, but then again when you’ve seen one new born you’ve seen them all. Thank God it’s not the naked baby picture. Joyce loved to embarrass me with that one by showing it to my girlfriends. Of course they thought it was cute. You’ll see that my mother had a way with my girlfriends. They became very attached to her and remained in contact with her even after we were no longer together.
Education started very early for me. On June 7, 1961 I smiled for the first time. Joyce was ecstatic that I smiled at her. So much so that she had to record it in my baby book. Six days after the first smile, I began to laugh. Even then I was a quick learner. At ten months I took my first step. This was the beginning of my rein of terror. Joyce assisted me in the walking process by placing me in a walker. Big mistake, I used the walker as a racecar. I would speed around the house, knocking things over, pulling things off of the kitchen and coffee table. I quickly learned how to change the channel on the television as well as turn it on and off from my walker. I would run into Joyce and laughed while she yelled at me. What can I say, I was a kid who wanted to play not take a nap. The time for napping was the time for sneakiness. That’s what Joyce called it. She would lay me down to sleep and I would get up when she left the room. I didn’t like taking naps. I guess I was afraid I would miss out on valuable play time, walker crashes into mommy. I learned how to behave by taps on the butt. My taurian stubbornness was a challenge for Joyce and she made sure I had a soft behind, since my head was so hard. The rod was not spared and I somehow still became spoiled. It must have been all the Godparents, great aunts (aunts) and family friends who spoiled me. Like I said, I always got what I wanted. There were too many people who fell for my charming skills. Unlike most children, my first words were “oh boy”. “Dada” came later. By January 19, 1962 I began speaking in full sentences. This was a sure sign that I would be different. Joyce had no idea of how different I would become.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
...Heart Attack
THURSDAY, JULY 15, 2010
11:00 PM
(continued from July 13, 2010)
The outpour of love from my cast members was overwhelming. For some reason I’m always surprised when people who’ve only known me for a short while are taken with me. Don’t get me wrong, my self-esteem is not in question. I just wish that I could be on the outside looking in to see what it is that they see. Mary, Mary would say, “It’s the GOD in me”.
Joyce did keep me in church. I was a Junior Usher, sang in the Youth Choir, and went to Sunday school from time to time. I am the crowned Prince of the Union Missionary Baptist Church.
11:00 PM
(continued from July 13, 2010)
The outpour of love from my cast members was overwhelming. For some reason I’m always surprised when people who’ve only known me for a short while are taken with me. Don’t get me wrong, my self-esteem is not in question. I just wish that I could be on the outside looking in to see what it is that they see. Mary, Mary would say, “It’s the GOD in me”.
Joyce did keep me in church. I was a Junior Usher, sang in the Youth Choir, and went to Sunday school from time to time. I am the crowned Prince of the Union Missionary Baptist Church.
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Alvin Ailey Dancers
Just looking for desk top backgrounds of dancers one day and binged Alvin Aley images. Had to create a photo gallery. It's nice to look back every once in a while. Just don't get caught up in what should have been.
I had my fun as a dance and theatre minor in school. Mom was right to insist that I major in business. Every now and then I get a longing for the Arts. My facilitation of New Emloyee Orientation at CA One Services were performances for me. Ahh, to be a facilitator again....:)
OK, back to reality.
I had my fun as a dance and theatre minor in school. Mom was right to insist that I major in business. Every now and then I get a longing for the Arts. My facilitation of New Emloyee Orientation at CA One Services were performances for me. Ahh, to be a facilitator again....:)
Locked Out
What a way to start the day locking myself out of the house this morning. Already not having a not so good start to this dreary day, I managed to beautify myself in record time; twenty minutes. That’s a record for me since my process can take anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half depending on my mood. I hope I can at least recreate those steps on a regular basis.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Heart Attack...
TUESDAY, JULY 13, 2010
8:00 PM
(continued from June 24, 2010)
You’ve got to love my Aunt Betty and Uncle Curt. They were at the hospital in record time and of course Uncle Curt had jokes. They informed that they saw Jacqui on their way in and talk to her a little while. My sister really loves me. Though we don’t say the magic three words, “I love you”, very often. She displays her affection differently and has always been there when I needed her. Her love is displayed materialistically. Especially during Christmas time. That’s where collection of over night bags came from and she always kept me in cologne. I must say the girl knows her fragrances and what would smell good on her brother. I’m also a benefactor of her designer casual wear that she out grew. She loves Fordham Road and I know in a couple of years the accoutrements will be mine. I’ll take the hand me downs any day and where them well.
8:00 PM
(continued from June 24, 2010)
You’ve got to love my Aunt Betty and Uncle Curt. They were at the hospital in record time and of course Uncle Curt had jokes. They informed that they saw Jacqui on their way in and talk to her a little while. My sister really loves me. Though we don’t say the magic three words, “I love you”, very often. She displays her affection differently and has always been there when I needed her. Her love is displayed materialistically. Especially during Christmas time. That’s where collection of over night bags came from and she always kept me in cologne. I must say the girl knows her fragrances and what would smell good on her brother. I’m also a benefactor of her designer casual wear that she out grew. She loves Fordham Road and I know in a couple of years the accoutrements will be mine. I’ll take the hand me downs any day and where them well.
Monday, July 12, 2010
...In The Beginning
When Joyce needed to talk to Nana, she would take my younger sister, Jacqui and I, with her to Kittle’s. She always knew where to find Nana when she needed to talk to her. She just hoped that Nana hadn’t filled up on Johnny Walker or Schlitz. If she had, the conversation would most definitely be soured.
Oh, I'm sorry. I didnn't introduce you to my sister, Jacqui. She came in the beginning on January 25, 1963. I was a little to young to remember the pregnancy and birthing pricess. I don't even remember if mommy asked if I wanted a brother or sister. The nerve! We use to fight like cats and dogsl I'll fill you in on our escapdes later.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
...In The Beginning
My name was not supposed to be Edward. Joyce had selected, Jerrard Jay Cage for a boy and Jeannine Jill Cage for a girl. Now I like the name Jerrard, but unfortunately, at that time I didn’t have a say in the matter. Hannah and Sonny wanted the boy (me) to be named after his father. Thank God, a Jr. wasn’t attached. There’s something about a name beginning with the letter “J” (Jesus). For example, say these names out loud; Jerrard, Jesus, Jay, Jesus, Joyce, Jesus, Joseph, Jesus, John, Jesus, Jeannine, Jesus, Jill, Jesus, Jacquelynne, Jesus. You see what I mean. There’s power in the name, JESUS. Why wouldn’t I prefer Jerrard over Edward? Wouldn’t you? OK, now I’m ranting over my name. You will find that I tend to go on tangents, just bear with me. The drama began at an early age. Who knew that this was a prediction of my future, a life full of drama.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
ESC Net Article - "Parkour"
Filming at several locations in Saratoga Springs – from downtown to Saratoga Spa State Park -- from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m., the production company shot the fluid movements of a professional performing "parkour," intense physical activity that includes jumping, climbing, back-flipping, cartwheeling, hopping, dodging and gestures that resemble martial arts, to maneuver through, past, over and around obstacles in an environment.
"It was an excellent shoot," said Special Events Coordinator Susan McFadden, who helped to arrange the day-long event. "It was an amazing group of people from different specialties that all came together and worked as a cohesive team. It's going to be an accurate representation of SUNY Empire State College.
The Saratogian, the area's daily paper, got wind of the production and made it front-page news with great photographs, viewable at http://www.saratogian.com/articles/2010/06/30/news/doc4c2a993c80f9f116562495.txt.
Several college employees served as extras, playing the roles of students. "Working as an extra was great," says Edward Cagé, who works in Human Resources. "Travis was awesome!
The commercial will air this fall on cable stations such as Bravo and MTV as well as on networks, including NBC.
Strange Looks
My hair is tight and face is flawless today (not shiny). The oil control is working. My attitude is still very laissez faire and my motto is still "Life is too short, it's time to live it". So who gives a hoot. The reality is that for the first time the office wittnessed another side of me. The not so sweet passive aggresive side that can push a person to the edge. They wittnessed the fearless "Eduoard". I've stated on several occasions that I fear no man regardless of his/her position, only GOD.
Just a few scriptures to back up why I fear no man.
Ex 18:21
Moreover thou shalt provide out of all the people able men, such as fear God, men of truth, hating covetousness; and place such over them, to be rulers of thousands, and rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens:
De 6:13
Thou shalt fear the LORD thy God, and serve him, and shalt swear by his name.
2Ch 19:7
Wherefore now let the fear of the LORD be upon you; take heed and do it: for there is no iniquity with the LORD our God, nor respect of persons, nor taking of gifts.
Ps 56:4
In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me.
Search God's word: http://www.searchgodsword.org/
I guess I'm just trying to say that my heart shall no longer be troubled from the incident. All is forgiven and forgotten and I have moved on. I can no longer carry excess baggage or be concearned what people think of me. It's not good for my health; physical, mental and spiritual. For man does not hold the key to the kingdom that my mother is now a resident of and where I know I will gain entry. For I am a Prince and my true father is the King of that kingdom.
I will continue to walk carefully and wise and seek the prize that is promised to me. However, I will not allow any man to disrespect me or mine. So if I must remain steadfast in a moment of discourse, so be it. This is who I am, take it or leave it.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Choosing A Mate
Often times I found myself in non-work related discussions with members of the office and today was a day of imparting a little wisdom on finding a husband. One of the ladies stated that she prayed and asked for specific qualities in her potential mate. After being relieved from a tumultuous marriage, she was a bit apprehensive about entering the dating arena. She had registered with Match.com and was unlucky in love. She decided to give it one more try but beforehand she prayed for what she wanted. Her prayers were answered the next time she logged onto the site. The perfect match was revealed, at least what she prayed for.
My discussions with other women searching for the “right” man have solidified the notion that you must be careful of what you pray for, at least for me. It is best that you write a list before praying lest you miss something. The list should include the good qualities that you want and those that you do not want. You see that “free will” can get you into trouble. You see you will be granted the desires of your heart but know that some desires come with problems. For instance, if the qualities you ask for are a good, kind, and loving man. You may receive a man who is good at being kind to other women and loving them. Not quite what one was expecting. You see the joke, oh yes the joke, is “free will”. You see, I often tell the Lord how funny He is. Especially when He allows me to get my way, knowing darn well that it isn’t for me. But, does He say anything – Oh no! Actually the question is, did I listen to what He was trying to tell me – NOPE! I wanted it and was determined to get it and He said, oh well, here you go. Remember you asked for it. Ha-ha.
Just think of the times where you just had to have that man. Mmm, mmm good is all you could think of. He’s so fine; well dressed, has a good job; and such a gentleman. While you’re caught up in all that you miss all the signs of doggishness. You see the Lord revealed the true man to you but you ignored it. Didn’t want to see, hear or speak of the evil. You just gotta have it. Well now you’ve got it and a trip to the doctor, in my case, or lawyer to get rid of it. Yes he was everything you wanted and a bag a stale chips. I digress, just had to get that off. I feel better now.
Let’s compare some scripture. I prefer to read the King James version of the Bible but when you look at the New Living Translation it is very evident that you will get what you ask for.
KJ Mt 7:7 - Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
NLT Mt 7:7 - Keep on asking, and you will be given what you ask for. Keep on looking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened.
I grew up with the KJ version and this verse led me to believe that what ever I asked for shall be granted unto me, see I even speak King James – lol, but what I receive in the NLT version is that is if keep on asking (and get on his nerves) he will give it to me. The same goes for the seek and knock portions of the scripture. (Wow! This would make a great topic for a sermon. JeNette would be so proud of me. I need to call her). I remember when I was a child and I wanted some candy. I would ask my mother for it and she would say no, I couldn’t have it because it wasn’t any good for me. I didn’t hear that. I just heard no, I couldn’t have it and moped off to another room or aisle of the store. Ms. Joyce didn’t allow temper tantrums or the sucking of ones teeth. So a little while later I would ask her again and she would say, no it’s going to give you cavities. What’s a little boy to do. The candy bar was calling me. It looked so good and I knew it would taste good. I just had to have it so I asked one more time. This time I had gotten on her nerves and she said go ahead. Hurray for me that is until my visit to the dentist. Turns out those candy bars that I managed to get my way with did give me cavities and the dentist drill was doggish on my teeth. I kept asking my mother for the candy, and I got what I asked for including the consequences after being forewarned.
This comparison of the different translations of scripture could go on and on but time is drawing nigh for sleep (11:40 PM). Brother has to get up in the morning. I’ll make the next part quick.
The other woman indicated that she found and choose her man. I simply corrected her by telling her it is not her job to find a man with a paraphrase of the scripture below. She should pray that the Lord send the man that He intends for her to her and the man will find her.
KJ Pv 18:22 - Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.
NLT Pv 18:22 - The man who finds a wife finds a treasure and receives favor from the LORD.
Ok, enough rambling for one night.
Good night Eddie.
My discussions with other women searching for the “right” man have solidified the notion that you must be careful of what you pray for, at least for me. It is best that you write a list before praying lest you miss something. The list should include the good qualities that you want and those that you do not want. You see that “free will” can get you into trouble. You see you will be granted the desires of your heart but know that some desires come with problems. For instance, if the qualities you ask for are a good, kind, and loving man. You may receive a man who is good at being kind to other women and loving them. Not quite what one was expecting. You see the joke, oh yes the joke, is “free will”. You see, I often tell the Lord how funny He is. Especially when He allows me to get my way, knowing darn well that it isn’t for me. But, does He say anything – Oh no! Actually the question is, did I listen to what He was trying to tell me – NOPE! I wanted it and was determined to get it and He said, oh well, here you go. Remember you asked for it. Ha-ha.
Just think of the times where you just had to have that man. Mmm, mmm good is all you could think of. He’s so fine; well dressed, has a good job; and such a gentleman. While you’re caught up in all that you miss all the signs of doggishness. You see the Lord revealed the true man to you but you ignored it. Didn’t want to see, hear or speak of the evil. You just gotta have it. Well now you’ve got it and a trip to the doctor, in my case, or lawyer to get rid of it. Yes he was everything you wanted and a bag a stale chips. I digress, just had to get that off. I feel better now.
Let’s compare some scripture. I prefer to read the King James version of the Bible but when you look at the New Living Translation it is very evident that you will get what you ask for.
KJ Mt 7:7 - Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
NLT Mt 7:7 - Keep on asking, and you will be given what you ask for. Keep on looking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened.
I grew up with the KJ version and this verse led me to believe that what ever I asked for shall be granted unto me, see I even speak King James – lol, but what I receive in the NLT version is that is if keep on asking (and get on his nerves) he will give it to me. The same goes for the seek and knock portions of the scripture. (Wow! This would make a great topic for a sermon. JeNette would be so proud of me. I need to call her). I remember when I was a child and I wanted some candy. I would ask my mother for it and she would say no, I couldn’t have it because it wasn’t any good for me. I didn’t hear that. I just heard no, I couldn’t have it and moped off to another room or aisle of the store. Ms. Joyce didn’t allow temper tantrums or the sucking of ones teeth. So a little while later I would ask her again and she would say, no it’s going to give you cavities. What’s a little boy to do. The candy bar was calling me. It looked so good and I knew it would taste good. I just had to have it so I asked one more time. This time I had gotten on her nerves and she said go ahead. Hurray for me that is until my visit to the dentist. Turns out those candy bars that I managed to get my way with did give me cavities and the dentist drill was doggish on my teeth. I kept asking my mother for the candy, and I got what I asked for including the consequences after being forewarned.
This comparison of the different translations of scripture could go on and on but time is drawing nigh for sleep (11:40 PM). Brother has to get up in the morning. I’ll make the next part quick.
The other woman indicated that she found and choose her man. I simply corrected her by telling her it is not her job to find a man with a paraphrase of the scripture below. She should pray that the Lord send the man that He intends for her to her and the man will find her.
KJ Pv 18:22 - Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.
NLT Pv 18:22 - The man who finds a wife finds a treasure and receives favor from the LORD.
Ok, enough rambling for one night.
Good night Eddie.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Extra, Extra...
Working as an "Extra" today in the Empire State College commercial filming was great. This is the second performance piece I've been in this year. I didn't realize how much I enjoyed it. I've never been in a commercial before or experienced filming. I have a new found respect for film actors. All the takes to get the right shot. I've got the "acting bug" again. Just hope it's not to late.
Peyton sent an email indicating she wanted to do another run of "No Earthly Good" in June and she's sent the cast the partial script for her next play. This would be a perfect opportunity to brush up on my skills. Especially, since line memorization is a killer for me.
I need to make a list of things that I need to do to prepare to re-enter the acting the field. The are plenty of community theatres in the area. Let's see, I'll need head shots and a theatrical resume. Network with local actors and performers. Take in as many plays as I can. Check the trades for open calls. Oh yeah, win the lottery. :)
I keep replaying the day in my head over and over again. I think I may have missed a connection. There was a staffer at the location who when we first made eye contact that moment of delight displayed in his eyes along with a bright smile. I blew it off until the continuous stolen glances. Hmm, what's going on here. Then while shooting my scene with Mallory, the director asked the staffers to clear the weeds from the steps after a few takes. Mal and I offered to help but the crew indicated that we were actors not crew members. Mal and I continued in conversation and I jokingly indicated that I should have and apple as a prop. Well Mr. Staff, that was on the back of his T-Shirt, excitedly interjected that he had an apple and he would get it for me. He thought I was hungry but I indicated that I wanted to use it as a prop. Mal and I finished our scene on the steps and we went to the next location to prepare for the next scene.
The director wanted the "Extras" in the first scene to change shirts and hair styles. I was resigned not to have a prop and out of nowhere Mr. Staff appeared with an apple and a bright smile. "I got the apple for you", he said. He seemed so proud that he was able to do that for me. "Thanks dude", I replied with a smile and the thing I do with my eyes when there not hidden behind glasses. "You didn't have to do that". He blushed and said, "No problem." Being the professional that I am, I turned my attention to the task at hand and asked the Extras which blue shirt I should change into. The makeup artist recommended the solid blue and advised that I should be careful not to get makeup on my shirt. She proceeded to give instructions on how to put the shirt on and then said, “Oh, you know how to do it.” She realized that I had some acting experience when she was applying my makeup and I was knowledgeable about the Mac products. I think she was impressed when I inquired about translucent powder to take down the shine on my face. I wanted to tell her that RuPaul only uses Mac, but I kept that little tidbit to myself.
I have to work on not missing connections. I tend to realize it after the fact instead of in the moment. :(
Peyton sent an email indicating she wanted to do another run of "No Earthly Good" in June and she's sent the cast the partial script for her next play. This would be a perfect opportunity to brush up on my skills. Especially, since line memorization is a killer for me.
I need to make a list of things that I need to do to prepare to re-enter the acting the field. The are plenty of community theatres in the area. Let's see, I'll need head shots and a theatrical resume. Network with local actors and performers. Take in as many plays as I can. Check the trades for open calls. Oh yeah, win the lottery. :)
I keep replaying the day in my head over and over again. I think I may have missed a connection. There was a staffer at the location who when we first made eye contact that moment of delight displayed in his eyes along with a bright smile. I blew it off until the continuous stolen glances. Hmm, what's going on here. Then while shooting my scene with Mallory, the director asked the staffers to clear the weeds from the steps after a few takes. Mal and I offered to help but the crew indicated that we were actors not crew members. Mal and I continued in conversation and I jokingly indicated that I should have and apple as a prop. Well Mr. Staff, that was on the back of his T-Shirt, excitedly interjected that he had an apple and he would get it for me. He thought I was hungry but I indicated that I wanted to use it as a prop. Mal and I finished our scene on the steps and we went to the next location to prepare for the next scene.
The director wanted the "Extras" in the first scene to change shirts and hair styles. I was resigned not to have a prop and out of nowhere Mr. Staff appeared with an apple and a bright smile. "I got the apple for you", he said. He seemed so proud that he was able to do that for me. "Thanks dude", I replied with a smile and the thing I do with my eyes when there not hidden behind glasses. "You didn't have to do that". He blushed and said, "No problem." Being the professional that I am, I turned my attention to the task at hand and asked the Extras which blue shirt I should change into. The makeup artist recommended the solid blue and advised that I should be careful not to get makeup on my shirt. She proceeded to give instructions on how to put the shirt on and then said, “Oh, you know how to do it.” She realized that I had some acting experience when she was applying my makeup and I was knowledgeable about the Mac products. I think she was impressed when I inquired about translucent powder to take down the shine on my face. I wanted to tell her that RuPaul only uses Mac, but I kept that little tidbit to myself.
I have to work on not missing connections. I tend to realize it after the fact instead of in the moment. :(
In The Beginning
The operating room was filled with the sound of the heart monitor beeping steadily at regular intervals as Joyce lie on the operating table. You could here the hissing of the breathing apparatus as she inhaled and exhaled. This was not a normal cesarean section birth. The baby was close to four weeks overdue and in danger of being still born. The doctor had decided after several false alarms to go in and extract the little tyke. It appeared that baby Cage didn’t want to meet the world. Why would he? Conceived before the nuptials, the tyke attended the wedding. His conception set the stage for Joyce’s misery.
She fell in love with a man in uniform. He literally swept her off her feet. Edward G. Cage was a militarily strapping young man weighing in close to 180 lbs of muscle, 6’ 1” and handsome. He had that “good” processed hair and wore the popular Negro male style of the 50’s. He could have been the cover model for a “Military Today” magazine. His civilian attire made your mouth water. The ladies felt faint in his presence and Joyce was no exception. The little country girl who was raised on a cow farm in Chatham, NY, couldn’t resist his charm.
Sonny, as he was called, wasn’t like the city boys of Albany. He had style and charm. He was a gentleman. Actually, he was more like a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Joyce was naïve to his ulterior motives. Sonny was determined to add Joyce to his collection, another badge on his uniform, the proverbial notch on his belt. He knew that Joyce could not handle alcohol and one night he proceeded to get her drunk, just enough to make her more receptive to his advances. It worked and in December of 1960 they were married. The romantic ending would be that Sonny married Joyce because he was so in love with her but the truth is: …whack, whaaa, the baby screams.
Dr.: Time.
Nurse: 3:55 pm doctor.
Dr.: Male, baby Cage born May 12, 1961, weight, 7lbs. 8 oz., length 21 inches. Place him in the incubator. Take Mrs. Cage to the recovery room.
Nurse: Yes, doctor.
Yes, I was at the wedding! Just look closely at Joyce and you can see. I was there. It took me almost forty years to figure it out. I was always a little slow in math. I can’t even balance a checkbook. I’ll discuss more of my shortcomings at a later time.
As you can see Sonny was a very handsome man. Look at the eyes, chiseled jaw line and cheekbones. Strength is written on his face. He has a look of seduction with the expression of, “it wasn’t my choice, but I’m here”. Was this a happy occasion? It should have been, Joyce is smiling.
Born in Halifax, Virginia, he had a sister Lois, and by all accounts he was a mama’s boy spoiled to the core. He completed the eighth grade and decided school wasn’t for him. Yes, my daddy was a drop out who could barely read. He relied on his charm and good looks to get him by. He had a quick temper due to his lack of education. The military was the answer to Louise’s prayers. He served in Korea, but the military couldn’t control Sonny either. He was discharged dishonorably. The exact reason is unknown. At least that was the story.
Joyce Grimes was born in Chatham, NY. Her grandmother, “Big Nanny” raised her with her seventeen aunts and uncles. The bastard child of Hannah Grimes was born very sickly. The oven in Big Nanny’s house was used as her incubator. Joyce did not know Hannah as her mother until years later. She didn’t know who her birth father was until years after his death. Joyce somehow survived her ailments and frailties and had an active childhood.
The little country girl, after graduation, would go to the big city (Albany, NY) with her best friend. They would hang out at the Albany hot spot. Joyce met Sonny during one of her escapades to the city. The man in uniform caused Joyce’s heart to go pitter patter. The tall slender, handsome man caught her eye. She was in trouble and did even know it. The courtship ensued and Sonny knew he was going to get some of the sweet stuff. He just had to bide his time. His intentions were to hit it and run.
There’s a saying, “the eyes are the window to your soul” and Joyce, well, she was in love. She couldn’t see through his rose colored glasses which hid his true intentions. In the wedding picture you can see in Sonny’s eyes the expression, “I’m not here by choice.” Sonny manipulated the situation and got Joyce drunk. He knew she couldn’t hold her liquor and a few drinks is all it would take to make her vulnerable to seduction. The plan was made and the trap was set and Joyce was snared. Sonny’s one night of pleasure turned into a life time of aggravation. He didn’t intend to leave anything behind. He caught his prey, but the table was turned. He was snared by his own trap. A child was not in the plan, but here I am. Unto them a child was born, Edward Emil Cagé. Actually, Cage, I changed the name to Cagé later.
Because of me, Sonny was forced to do the honorable thing. I’m not saying it was a gunshot wedding. I’m just observing his facial expression in the picture. Does he look happy to you? It looks a little forced to me, but hey, we never talked about his marriage to my mother. In fact we never talked about much of anything. OK, just relax; this isn’t the rag on my daddy section. The truth shall speak for itself.
She fell in love with a man in uniform. He literally swept her off her feet. Edward G. Cage was a militarily strapping young man weighing in close to 180 lbs of muscle, 6’ 1” and handsome. He had that “good” processed hair and wore the popular Negro male style of the 50’s. He could have been the cover model for a “Military Today” magazine. His civilian attire made your mouth water. The ladies felt faint in his presence and Joyce was no exception. The little country girl who was raised on a cow farm in Chatham, NY, couldn’t resist his charm.
Sonny, as he was called, wasn’t like the city boys of Albany. He had style and charm. He was a gentleman. Actually, he was more like a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Joyce was naïve to his ulterior motives. Sonny was determined to add Joyce to his collection, another badge on his uniform, the proverbial notch on his belt. He knew that Joyce could not handle alcohol and one night he proceeded to get her drunk, just enough to make her more receptive to his advances. It worked and in December of 1960 they were married. The romantic ending would be that Sonny married Joyce because he was so in love with her but the truth is: …whack, whaaa, the baby screams.
Dr.: Time.
Nurse: 3:55 pm doctor.
Dr.: Male, baby Cage born May 12, 1961, weight, 7lbs. 8 oz., length 21 inches. Place him in the incubator. Take Mrs. Cage to the recovery room.
Nurse: Yes, doctor.
Yes, I was at the wedding! Just look closely at Joyce and you can see. I was there. It took me almost forty years to figure it out. I was always a little slow in math. I can’t even balance a checkbook. I’ll discuss more of my shortcomings at a later time.
Born in Halifax, Virginia, he had a sister Lois, and by all accounts he was a mama’s boy spoiled to the core. He completed the eighth grade and decided school wasn’t for him. Yes, my daddy was a drop out who could barely read. He relied on his charm and good looks to get him by. He had a quick temper due to his lack of education. The military was the answer to Louise’s prayers. He served in Korea, but the military couldn’t control Sonny either. He was discharged dishonorably. The exact reason is unknown. At least that was the story.
Joyce Grimes was born in Chatham, NY. Her grandmother, “Big Nanny” raised her with her seventeen aunts and uncles. The bastard child of Hannah Grimes was born very sickly. The oven in Big Nanny’s house was used as her incubator. Joyce did not know Hannah as her mother until years later. She didn’t know who her birth father was until years after his death. Joyce somehow survived her ailments and frailties and had an active childhood.
The little country girl, after graduation, would go to the big city (Albany, NY) with her best friend. They would hang out at the Albany hot spot. Joyce met Sonny during one of her escapades to the city. The man in uniform caused Joyce’s heart to go pitter patter. The tall slender, handsome man caught her eye. She was in trouble and did even know it. The courtship ensued and Sonny knew he was going to get some of the sweet stuff. He just had to bide his time. His intentions were to hit it and run.
There’s a saying, “the eyes are the window to your soul” and Joyce, well, she was in love. She couldn’t see through his rose colored glasses which hid his true intentions. In the wedding picture you can see in Sonny’s eyes the expression, “I’m not here by choice.” Sonny manipulated the situation and got Joyce drunk. He knew she couldn’t hold her liquor and a few drinks is all it would take to make her vulnerable to seduction. The plan was made and the trap was set and Joyce was snared. Sonny’s one night of pleasure turned into a life time of aggravation. He didn’t intend to leave anything behind. He caught his prey, but the table was turned. He was snared by his own trap. A child was not in the plan, but here I am. Unto them a child was born, Edward Emil Cagé. Actually, Cage, I changed the name to Cagé later.
Because of me, Sonny was forced to do the honorable thing. I’m not saying it was a gunshot wedding. I’m just observing his facial expression in the picture. Does he look happy to you? It looks a little forced to me, but hey, we never talked about his marriage to my mother. In fact we never talked about much of anything. OK, just relax; this isn’t the rag on my daddy section. The truth shall speak for itself.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Snack Time
Got home from work and decided to have a snack. Jazzy apparently likes peaches. She did pretty well with her two bottom front teeth just coming in. That's my girl! Fresh fruit not out of the jar. :)
Learning to share was the lesson for the evening.
Learning to share was the lesson for the evening.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
JJ Rafferty's Video Playlist
JUNE 24, 2010
10:55 PM
What a time we had! Can't wait to do it again. Nee already has me learning a song for a duet.
Enjoy the playlist.
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL66BD1AB0FB4FA03C&feature=edit_ok
10:55 PM
What a time we had! Can't wait to do it again. Nee already has me learning a song for a duet.
Enjoy the playlist.
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL66BD1AB0FB4FA03C&feature=edit_ok
Re-Connection
I'm so glad that Nee and I have reconnected. We've been emailing each other all week and learning quite a bit about each other. You could say we are almost twins.
This is a new journey for me. I've been on journeys for the past eighteen months or so. Perhaps JeNette is right. The Ministry of Identifying. I've been connecting and reconnecting with people who are need of someone who is compassionate with their situation; with those who are experiencing things that I have already experienced; coming to terms with issues that I have already came to terms with. I just wanted to be a choir director but you can't direct a choir if you aren't a member of a church. That season is over.
Lita text me. What a surprise. I was glad to hear from here. I really enjoyed hanging with her and her friends Friday night. I told her to tell them I said hey even though I couldn't remember there names at the time. That Gabe is a cutie!
I've got a feeling that I'll hear from Takia before the week is out. My girls are so sweet. I may have lost my mother but I've gained three beautiful cousins who fill me with so much joy. Thank you father.
I was thinking about my girl Trina in Philly on the way home so I called and left a message. She emailed me and informed me that her family is dealing with death again and she is on her way south. I felt she was going through this again.
What is going on with me. I'm feeling things that I'm not usually in tune with. I need to contact JeNette, my spiritual sister in NJ and my God Son's mom, and find out what is happening to me. I already know what she's going to say. My spiritual antenna is receiving signals and I should be careful. I'm tuned into the right frequency and the static has been lifted. Warfare is about to commence. This always seems to happen when I have a near death experience. The heart attack was the third one in my adult life and I must say just like the one before I was more at peace with the situation. I guess because I knew if I died, my sister is here to find me. I'm right upstairs. Unlike before when I lived alone in NJ.
Whatever path He has me on now, I guess I better stay put. No more running. But, am I ready? I know what JeNette goes through as an Evangelist, yet she remains steadfast even with her Lupus. Wait a minute, Aunt Betty suffers with Lupus as well and it doesn't stop Rev. Jay. What the heck is my problem? The scripture says to study to show thyself approved unto God. I have not studied, yet when I need a word He provides it or the means for me to find it. I mean just today He gave me just enough to actually Bing the phrase and find the scripture that was placed on my heart to impart on Nee. But what if I'm talking to someone and I'm not near a computer or have one of my gadgets with Internet access.
Now that was a stupid question, Edward. You talked someone of a ledge in college without quoting scripture. You identified with the person and spoke the truth to him, the raw unfiltered truth. Wow, come to think of it, I've been on this path for a long time. It is just becoming clearer to me that I am not lost. The spiritual me has always done the right thing. The carnal me was and is a distraction.
OK, this is getting a bit deep for me right now. I'm going to run from this like I always do and go to bed. The carnal me is just not ready. I'll probably toss and turn all night now.
This is a new journey for me. I've been on journeys for the past eighteen months or so. Perhaps JeNette is right. The Ministry of Identifying. I've been connecting and reconnecting with people who are need of someone who is compassionate with their situation; with those who are experiencing things that I have already experienced; coming to terms with issues that I have already came to terms with. I just wanted to be a choir director but you can't direct a choir if you aren't a member of a church. That season is over.
Lita text me. What a surprise. I was glad to hear from here. I really enjoyed hanging with her and her friends Friday night. I told her to tell them I said hey even though I couldn't remember there names at the time. That Gabe is a cutie!
I've got a feeling that I'll hear from Takia before the week is out. My girls are so sweet. I may have lost my mother but I've gained three beautiful cousins who fill me with so much joy. Thank you father.
I was thinking about my girl Trina in Philly on the way home so I called and left a message. She emailed me and informed me that her family is dealing with death again and she is on her way south. I felt she was going through this again.
What is going on with me. I'm feeling things that I'm not usually in tune with. I need to contact JeNette, my spiritual sister in NJ and my God Son's mom, and find out what is happening to me. I already know what she's going to say. My spiritual antenna is receiving signals and I should be careful. I'm tuned into the right frequency and the static has been lifted. Warfare is about to commence. This always seems to happen when I have a near death experience. The heart attack was the third one in my adult life and I must say just like the one before I was more at peace with the situation. I guess because I knew if I died, my sister is here to find me. I'm right upstairs. Unlike before when I lived alone in NJ.
Whatever path He has me on now, I guess I better stay put. No more running. But, am I ready? I know what JeNette goes through as an Evangelist, yet she remains steadfast even with her Lupus. Wait a minute, Aunt Betty suffers with Lupus as well and it doesn't stop Rev. Jay. What the heck is my problem? The scripture says to study to show thyself approved unto God. I have not studied, yet when I need a word He provides it or the means for me to find it. I mean just today He gave me just enough to actually Bing the phrase and find the scripture that was placed on my heart to impart on Nee. But what if I'm talking to someone and I'm not near a computer or have one of my gadgets with Internet access.
Now that was a stupid question, Edward. You talked someone of a ledge in college without quoting scripture. You identified with the person and spoke the truth to him, the raw unfiltered truth. Wow, come to think of it, I've been on this path for a long time. It is just becoming clearer to me that I am not lost. The spiritual me has always done the right thing. The carnal me was and is a distraction.
OK, this is getting a bit deep for me right now. I'm going to run from this like I always do and go to bed. The carnal me is just not ready. I'll probably toss and turn all night now.
Heart Attack…
THURSDAY, JUNE 24, 2010
12:17 AM
(continued from June 15, 2010)
Gavac transported me to Ellis Hospital in record time. They called ahead and advised the cath unit that I was on my way. I was whisked immediately into the operating room. The attending physician went over the procedure. Indicating that a tube with a camera would inserted in the artery from my groin which leads to my heart. Once there he would look to see if the artery was clogged and if so he would insert a stint while he was there. There were three monitors on my left and I thought I would be awake and get a chance to see the procedure. A nurse stepped in and indicated that she would have to shave the insertion point. Of course I asked if she could just trim me up while she was there. I didn't just want to have a missing patch. She laughed and indicated that she would just shave the area of insertion. I smiled at her and looked over to my left at the monitors. The last thing I remember is thinking that she's going to make a mess of my pubes and I'll have to clean it up when I get home.
Someone slipped me a roofie! All prepared to watch the procedure what I got was; "keep your head down". WHAT! Keep my head down. I wanted to see what was on the monitor. As I surveyed my surroundings with my head down, I realized I was in the recovery room. No one told me I would be under anesthesia. A nurse came over to check my groin and began to apply pressure. Apparently, I was bleeding and I guess that was a bad thing. She called for more bandages and the other nurse became a little frantic. Was I supposed to worried? No, Edward wasn't a happy camper. I wanted to see the procedure. They stopped the bleeding and the one of the nurses asked if I was allergic to shell fish. "No, I love clams, lobster, and crab". She ordered some Benedryl, apparently I was having a reaction to the dye that was used to illuminate my artery. Oh well, what next.
I noticed it was close to noon and I told the nurse to call my sister at work. She asked me for her number and to my surprise I remembered it. I gave instructions to call her during lunch time because she works for Tax and Finance and they are really strict about personal calls. The nurse acknowledged and I must have drifted off to sleep. Awaken at 2:00 PM, the nurse asked is there was anyone they should contact tact. WHAT! “I thought you already called my sister at noon. She won’t be able to take a call now. Her agency is strict.” The nurse laughed at me. Did I say something funny? I was serious. She proceeded to call my sister. I told not to tell her I had a heart attack and what was the first thing out of her mouth; “hello, is this Jacqueline. Your brother, Edward had a heart attack and….” In my head I was yelling at the nurse but it came out more like a whisper, “I told you not to tell her that!” The nurse informed her that I was alright and would be in intensive care when she got to the hospital. Thanks nurse, now how I have to deal with my sister. She’s probably a mess and walked off the job. Miss Girl blacks out when she’s upset and doesn’t think of the repercussions of her actions. I told the nurse that we just buried our mother in February and my sister didn’t need to know about the heart attack part of me being in the hospital. I would have told her when she got here. The nurse apologized but indicated that my sister was in shock at first but ok by the time they finished their conversation.
Off to the ICU. I was fully awake now and feeling my normal self, if you can call that normal. Ready to eat and go home. Unfortunately, I had to stay overnight in the ICU. In walks my sister. “You can’t do this. It’s to soon. What’s wrong with you? I’m not ready for this.” That’s Jacqui. I told her I was fine and it’s all over and I should be out of the hospital in a few days. I had to calm her down. She had that petrified look on her face and she was pale. When her color came back, I hit with becoming my living will/health care proxy, BAM! “Mommy was my proxy but she can’t help now. Don’t worry. I have a DNR so you don’t have to make any decisions. I’m alright now. My sister didn’t think she could handle it so I told her I would have Aunt Betty serve as the alternate. I called her right then there.
me: Hey Auntie, how you doin.
Aunt Betty: I’m fine. Why are you calling me from the hospital. Is everything alright?
me: Um (I forgot to use my cell phone), yeah. I had a heart attack and…..
Aunt Betty: Curt!
me: Auntie, every thing is fine. My right artery was clogged and they put a stint in it. I’m ok.
Her voice began to quiver and I quickly pulled her back.
me: OK, you got 30 seconds to loose it and then it’s over. Alright.
Aunt Betty: OK. Curt! Oh my God….Curt! Lord, Jesus, Eddie had a heart attack….
What room are you in. Uncle Curt and I will be right there.
me: I’m in ICU but I’m calling to ask if you would be my health care proxy alternate with Jacqui. I’m filling out the papers now. Mommy was my proxy but she can’t help me from Graceland Cemetery. (trying to make her laugh) Besides, Jacqui won’t be able to handle the tough decisions. I have a DNR.
Aunt Betty: Sure.
me: Thank you. I’ll have a copy for you when you get here.
Wow, it took a heart attack for me to realize that I didn’t have my papers in order. I guess it’s a good thing that I didn’t leave this earth. So much to do before I go. Let’s see I have to go to the bank and change the beneficiary on my account from mother to my sister; draft a power of attorney with Auntie as the alternate; power pay my car note; and win the lottery. Well I need to start playing mega millions. You got to be in it to win it. I think that’s it….
(To be continue)
12:17 AM
(continued from June 15, 2010)
Gavac transported me to Ellis Hospital in record time. They called ahead and advised the cath unit that I was on my way. I was whisked immediately into the operating room. The attending physician went over the procedure. Indicating that a tube with a camera would inserted in the artery from my groin which leads to my heart. Once there he would look to see if the artery was clogged and if so he would insert a stint while he was there. There were three monitors on my left and I thought I would be awake and get a chance to see the procedure. A nurse stepped in and indicated that she would have to shave the insertion point. Of course I asked if she could just trim me up while she was there. I didn't just want to have a missing patch. She laughed and indicated that she would just shave the area of insertion. I smiled at her and looked over to my left at the monitors. The last thing I remember is thinking that she's going to make a mess of my pubes and I'll have to clean it up when I get home.
Someone slipped me a roofie! All prepared to watch the procedure what I got was; "keep your head down". WHAT! Keep my head down. I wanted to see what was on the monitor. As I surveyed my surroundings with my head down, I realized I was in the recovery room. No one told me I would be under anesthesia. A nurse came over to check my groin and began to apply pressure. Apparently, I was bleeding and I guess that was a bad thing. She called for more bandages and the other nurse became a little frantic. Was I supposed to worried? No, Edward wasn't a happy camper. I wanted to see the procedure. They stopped the bleeding and the one of the nurses asked if I was allergic to shell fish. "No, I love clams, lobster, and crab". She ordered some Benedryl, apparently I was having a reaction to the dye that was used to illuminate my artery. Oh well, what next.
I noticed it was close to noon and I told the nurse to call my sister at work. She asked me for her number and to my surprise I remembered it. I gave instructions to call her during lunch time because she works for Tax and Finance and they are really strict about personal calls. The nurse acknowledged and I must have drifted off to sleep. Awaken at 2:00 PM, the nurse asked is there was anyone they should contact tact. WHAT! “I thought you already called my sister at noon. She won’t be able to take a call now. Her agency is strict.” The nurse laughed at me. Did I say something funny? I was serious. She proceeded to call my sister. I told not to tell her I had a heart attack and what was the first thing out of her mouth; “hello, is this Jacqueline. Your brother, Edward had a heart attack and….” In my head I was yelling at the nurse but it came out more like a whisper, “I told you not to tell her that!” The nurse informed her that I was alright and would be in intensive care when she got to the hospital. Thanks nurse, now how I have to deal with my sister. She’s probably a mess and walked off the job. Miss Girl blacks out when she’s upset and doesn’t think of the repercussions of her actions. I told the nurse that we just buried our mother in February and my sister didn’t need to know about the heart attack part of me being in the hospital. I would have told her when she got here. The nurse apologized but indicated that my sister was in shock at first but ok by the time they finished their conversation.
Off to the ICU. I was fully awake now and feeling my normal self, if you can call that normal. Ready to eat and go home. Unfortunately, I had to stay overnight in the ICU. In walks my sister. “You can’t do this. It’s to soon. What’s wrong with you? I’m not ready for this.” That’s Jacqui. I told her I was fine and it’s all over and I should be out of the hospital in a few days. I had to calm her down. She had that petrified look on her face and she was pale. When her color came back, I hit with becoming my living will/health care proxy, BAM! “Mommy was my proxy but she can’t help now. Don’t worry. I have a DNR so you don’t have to make any decisions. I’m alright now. My sister didn’t think she could handle it so I told her I would have Aunt Betty serve as the alternate. I called her right then there.
me: Hey Auntie, how you doin.
Aunt Betty: I’m fine. Why are you calling me from the hospital. Is everything alright?
me: Um (I forgot to use my cell phone), yeah. I had a heart attack and…..
Aunt Betty: Curt!
me: Auntie, every thing is fine. My right artery was clogged and they put a stint in it. I’m ok.
Her voice began to quiver and I quickly pulled her back.
me: OK, you got 30 seconds to loose it and then it’s over. Alright.
Aunt Betty: OK. Curt! Oh my God….Curt! Lord, Jesus, Eddie had a heart attack….
What room are you in. Uncle Curt and I will be right there.
me: I’m in ICU but I’m calling to ask if you would be my health care proxy alternate with Jacqui. I’m filling out the papers now. Mommy was my proxy but she can’t help me from Graceland Cemetery. (trying to make her laugh) Besides, Jacqui won’t be able to handle the tough decisions. I have a DNR.
Aunt Betty: Sure.
me: Thank you. I’ll have a copy for you when you get here.
Wow, it took a heart attack for me to realize that I didn’t have my papers in order. I guess it’s a good thing that I didn’t leave this earth. So much to do before I go. Let’s see I have to go to the bank and change the beneficiary on my account from mother to my sister; draft a power of attorney with Auntie as the alternate; power pay my car note; and win the lottery. Well I need to start playing mega millions. You got to be in it to win it. I think that’s it….
(To be continue)
Saturday, June 19, 2010
JJ Rafferty’s
F A B U L O U S, FABULOUS time last night at JJ’s. I hadn’t been out to Karaoke in a while. It was a great hanging with my girls, Nia, Lita, and Takia. They’re all grown up now. My last memory of them is when they were just little ones and I used to baby sit for them. So much love there. I had know idea that I had left an impression on them and my babies sing. To think that I almost bailed on this. I was so tired after work but I did not want to let them down.
The night turned into a family affair. We were the Karaoke show. Videos to come. Have to edit them first.
The night turned into a family affair. We were the Karaoke show. Videos to come. Have to edit them first.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Edward's Profile - Windows Live
Just trying to make it easier to follow my blog and keep up to date. I have a windows live profile which is connected to my blog.
Check your spam folder if you were expecting an email notification of postings. I could only set up ten forwards. I apologize if you were not on the list.
Edward's Profile - Windows Live
Check your spam folder if you were expecting an email notification of postings. I could only set up ten forwards. I apologize if you were not on the list.
Edward's Profile - Windows Live
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Heart Looks Good!
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 16, 2010
3:32 PM
Had a cardiac appointment today and Dr. Rund said the blood work and ultra sound of my heart look good! No other artery damage. Whew, I guess I'm not dying today. The stent has taken hold to my artery and it is up to me to keep it clear, so STOP SMOKING boi. She said she would be in my face every appointment until I quit for good. I'll see her in four months, hopefully tabacco free.
Asked about the cold medicines and she recommend that I take nothing. The dayquil/nightquil are just stronger versions of benedryl with a little alcohol to make me sleep. No harm in taking them but they don't work. They sure make me feel better though. She is definitely into the natural medicines. I can take tylenol for headaches when needed. The important meds are the plavix, aspirin, lipitor and metroprolol.
Oh darn, I forgot to ask her about being sort of melancholy from time to time. I'll save that one for Dr. Liporace (Ralph) next month. He knows me better. More than likely it's normal considering what I have been through. Just need to keep an eye on it so it doesn't manifest into something worse. Not that I need anything more to contend with.
3:32 PM
Had a cardiac appointment today and Dr. Rund said the blood work and ultra sound of my heart look good! No other artery damage. Whew, I guess I'm not dying today. The stent has taken hold to my artery and it is up to me to keep it clear, so STOP SMOKING boi. She said she would be in my face every appointment until I quit for good. I'll see her in four months, hopefully tabacco free.
Asked about the cold medicines and she recommend that I take nothing. The dayquil/nightquil are just stronger versions of benedryl with a little alcohol to make me sleep. No harm in taking them but they don't work. They sure make me feel better though. She is definitely into the natural medicines. I can take tylenol for headaches when needed. The important meds are the plavix, aspirin, lipitor and metroprolol.
Oh darn, I forgot to ask her about being sort of melancholy from time to time. I'll save that one for Dr. Liporace (Ralph) next month. He knows me better. More than likely it's normal considering what I have been through. Just need to keep an eye on it so it doesn't manifest into something worse. Not that I need anything more to contend with.
Acknowledgement
First and foremost, I must acknowledge my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. It is through his grace and mercy that permits me to document this positive yet provocative story. All praise and honor are due him.
I’d like to thank my sister because of Christ, JeNette Harris, for encouraging me in 1999 to invest in a computer to write this book. “Stop spending so much time at work and use your talent at home to share your experiences with those who share your plight.” Much love sweetheart! Remember, I know who you are. Tell him I said, “Thank you” and I’ll see you there. (Ok, you can cut a step now).
As an African American male, I must follow the lead of so many others and thank my mother. Joyce, you deserve a standing ovation for your role as both father and mother. When I needed love, you gave it unconditionally. When I needed discipline you gave it constructively. And when I needed a friend you were there when I was friendless. Though you unknowingly (I think) spoiled me rotten, I didn’t turn out to bad. You taught me how to respect women and for that the woman in my life and I thank you. This is one book I think you will read through. I will reveal quite a few things that you are not aware of in my story. Yes, you will need a box of Kleenex. Mother, please do not blame yourself for my circumstances. You did everything right! I know you. Do not start thinking of how you could have done things differently. My destiny was predetermined for the purpose of this book. This is just a small part of the charge I have on my life. Prepare yourself and don’t read more than you can handle at one time. I love you……………………………………Eddie
Note to self (NTS): Obviously, this last paragraph will have to be rewritten since Joyce passed away February 2, 2010 and any references to her in the present tense will have to be reworked. Oh yeah, one more thing. Don't start correcting grammer. That's what stalled you the last time. Just write!
I’d like to thank my sister because of Christ, JeNette Harris, for encouraging me in 1999 to invest in a computer to write this book. “Stop spending so much time at work and use your talent at home to share your experiences with those who share your plight.” Much love sweetheart! Remember, I know who you are. Tell him I said, “Thank you” and I’ll see you there. (Ok, you can cut a step now).
As an African American male, I must follow the lead of so many others and thank my mother. Joyce, you deserve a standing ovation for your role as both father and mother. When I needed love, you gave it unconditionally. When I needed discipline you gave it constructively. And when I needed a friend you were there when I was friendless. Though you unknowingly (I think) spoiled me rotten, I didn’t turn out to bad. You taught me how to respect women and for that the woman in my life and I thank you. This is one book I think you will read through. I will reveal quite a few things that you are not aware of in my story. Yes, you will need a box of Kleenex. Mother, please do not blame yourself for my circumstances. You did everything right! I know you. Do not start thinking of how you could have done things differently. My destiny was predetermined for the purpose of this book. This is just a small part of the charge I have on my life. Prepare yourself and don’t read more than you can handle at one time. I love you……………………………………Eddie
Note to self (NTS): Obviously, this last paragraph will have to be rewritten since Joyce passed away February 2, 2010 and any references to her in the present tense will have to be reworked. Oh yeah, one more thing. Don't start correcting grammer. That's what stalled you the last time. Just write!
Full Discolosure
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 16, 2010
12:15 AM
Since 1999 I've been procrastinating about writing a book. Just never seemed to be enough time and now it appears that I may be running out of it. I've managed to get seventeen pages and a partial outline completed over the past eleven years. Most of which was done in 1999 when I was enthusiastic about the project.
I've been re-energized and I thought what a better way to get started than to blog what I have thus far. This will reintroduce me to the tone in which I was writing, hopefully. Though I have not been writing, I've managed to address some issues that are revealed in the book and come to terms with them as well as myself. My recent tragedies have moved me to a place where I am my true self without shame or regret. So here it is; "Just As I Am" - Thank you E. Lynn.
12:15 AM
Since 1999 I've been procrastinating about writing a book. Just never seemed to be enough time and now it appears that I may be running out of it. I've managed to get seventeen pages and a partial outline completed over the past eleven years. Most of which was done in 1999 when I was enthusiastic about the project.
I've been re-energized and I thought what a better way to get started than to blog what I have thus far. This will reintroduce me to the tone in which I was writing, hopefully. Though I have not been writing, I've managed to address some issues that are revealed in the book and come to terms with them as well as myself. My recent tragedies have moved me to a place where I am my true self without shame or regret. So here it is; "Just As I Am" - Thank you E. Lynn.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Bromance
TUESDAY, JUNE 15, 2010
11:23 PM
Yes it's over or a least on hold for now. Had a falling out yesterday with my Bro and his wounds have not healed yet. For the first time in my life I can honestly say I had a connection with a straight man who accepted me for me. We are close like brothers in fact I call him my little bro since I am twenty years his senior.
I instantly became attached to him the first day I met and interviewed him for the position of my partner at work. I guess it was his pure passion for the position and his openness to learn everything he could about the job and the field. We immediately looked out for each other and I encouraged him to absorb everything I had to offer. Not to toot my own horn but I am a wealth of knowledge and I freely share what I know. He recognized that and dipped his laddle frequently. I thoroughly enjoy watching him blossom knowing that in a few years he would be excellent in the field. Always complimenting him on the job he was doing to boost his confidence.
We were connected at the hip and could often be found huddled in a doorway speaking to each other in "our" language. We shared secrets with one another about our personal lives and I believe, though we never discussed it, he knew I was different and it didn't matter. He is secure in who he is as am I. He was the first of the few collegues that I informed of my bout with cancer last year. In fact I took him to lunch to discuss it and he paid. The sensitivity he displayed was overwhelming and we were both teary eyed.
He became my protector for the past eighteen months. A time in my life where I went from one valley to the next; cancer, death of my mother, heart attack. Through it all he was there for me. Even when we both felt that we were being dumped on and under appreciated for the jobs we were doing.
My heart is heavy. I can not believe that we had a falling out over something that is not that serious. I should have recognized he was having a bad day and just backed off. I should not have allowed us to embarress ourselves. I just hope that in time the wound will heal and we can become bros once again. I need to talk to him and apologize. I wanted to do it today but I could tell he wasn't ready to receive it. My spirit is telling me to do it soon though. The thought of dieing without reconciling with him is at the forefront of my mind and my spirit will not rest until this is done.
11:23 PM
Yes it's over or a least on hold for now. Had a falling out yesterday with my Bro and his wounds have not healed yet. For the first time in my life I can honestly say I had a connection with a straight man who accepted me for me. We are close like brothers in fact I call him my little bro since I am twenty years his senior.
I instantly became attached to him the first day I met and interviewed him for the position of my partner at work. I guess it was his pure passion for the position and his openness to learn everything he could about the job and the field. We immediately looked out for each other and I encouraged him to absorb everything I had to offer. Not to toot my own horn but I am a wealth of knowledge and I freely share what I know. He recognized that and dipped his laddle frequently. I thoroughly enjoy watching him blossom knowing that in a few years he would be excellent in the field. Always complimenting him on the job he was doing to boost his confidence.
We were connected at the hip and could often be found huddled in a doorway speaking to each other in "our" language. We shared secrets with one another about our personal lives and I believe, though we never discussed it, he knew I was different and it didn't matter. He is secure in who he is as am I. He was the first of the few collegues that I informed of my bout with cancer last year. In fact I took him to lunch to discuss it and he paid. The sensitivity he displayed was overwhelming and we were both teary eyed.
He became my protector for the past eighteen months. A time in my life where I went from one valley to the next; cancer, death of my mother, heart attack. Through it all he was there for me. Even when we both felt that we were being dumped on and under appreciated for the jobs we were doing.
My heart is heavy. I can not believe that we had a falling out over something that is not that serious. I should have recognized he was having a bad day and just backed off. I should not have allowed us to embarress ourselves. I just hope that in time the wound will heal and we can become bros once again. I need to talk to him and apologize. I wanted to do it today but I could tell he wasn't ready to receive it. My spirit is telling me to do it soon though. The thought of dieing without reconciling with him is at the forefront of my mind and my spirit will not rest until this is done.
Heart Attack...
TUESDAY, JUNE 15, 2010
7:15 AM
(continued from May 30, 2010)
Nurse Terry entered the room in a multicolored green lab coat with green pants and matching blouse. The outfit was topped with a pair of multicolored green reading glasses. The look was quite cute and it matched her personality. I complimented the glasses and she said, “I have a pair for every outfit.” Can someone say DIVA!
I informed Terry of my symptoms and how I experienced this before and it turned out to be pneumonia. She indicated that they would run a cardiogram and connect an IV just in case they needed to pump me with medication or draw more blood. She didn’t want to keep sticking me. That was so sweet of her. The technician attached the little sticky things on my chest, ankles and somewhere on the side, I think. She started the machine and once the reading was complete I noticed tension in her back. She quietly called Nurse Terry over to read the data and she confirmed what the technician read with a yep.
Nurse Terry came back over to me and continued with the IV site. The technician left the room momentarily and I stated to Terry, “I’m having a heart attach, huh”. She said “Yep”. I responded “Oh well, I guess I’m staying”. Terry couldn’t believe how nonchalant I was about the whole thing. I must admit I was relatively calm; however, there was flurry all around me. The technician returned and removed the sticky things, the admissions nurse came in requesting my insurance card, and the doctor shows with a look of fear on his face. Another nurse rushed in with medication; four chewable baby aspirin and nitro glycerin.
Nurse: Here, take these chewable baby aspirin.
Me: With my gum in my mouth?
Nurse: (no response) Place this under your tongue, its nitro glycerin.
Me: I can keep the gum in my mouth.
Nurse: (no response)
Needless to say I kept the gum in my mouth and the nitro under my tongue and I thought I couldn’t multi-task. During this flurry someone contacted the paramedics because they came with the gurney and the questions. Apparently, I’m supposed to be in a great deal of pain. It felt like heart burn to me and I couldn’t quite grasp why everyone else was sooooo excited. I wish these people would calm down. Once the medical banter between the doctor and the paramedics they were finally ready to transport me to Ellis Hospital. The ER doc informed me that I need a heart cauterization. That got my attention. I knew exactly what that was since mommy had one when she had congestive heart failure in September and was transferred to St. Peter’s Hospital. I still remained calm. I was about to receive my first ambulance ride only there would be no one following behind like I did for my mom.
Ok, there’s that brief moment of sadness and loneliness during the medical emergency which I quickly dismissed. No time for that right now boi, get it together. And together I got it. Well having a cute paramedic, without a wedding ring, helped :)…(To be continued)
7:15 AM
(continued from May 30, 2010)
Nurse Terry entered the room in a multicolored green lab coat with green pants and matching blouse. The outfit was topped with a pair of multicolored green reading glasses. The look was quite cute and it matched her personality. I complimented the glasses and she said, “I have a pair for every outfit.” Can someone say DIVA!
I informed Terry of my symptoms and how I experienced this before and it turned out to be pneumonia. She indicated that they would run a cardiogram and connect an IV just in case they needed to pump me with medication or draw more blood. She didn’t want to keep sticking me. That was so sweet of her. The technician attached the little sticky things on my chest, ankles and somewhere on the side, I think. She started the machine and once the reading was complete I noticed tension in her back. She quietly called Nurse Terry over to read the data and she confirmed what the technician read with a yep.
Nurse Terry came back over to me and continued with the IV site. The technician left the room momentarily and I stated to Terry, “I’m having a heart attach, huh”. She said “Yep”. I responded “Oh well, I guess I’m staying”. Terry couldn’t believe how nonchalant I was about the whole thing. I must admit I was relatively calm; however, there was flurry all around me. The technician returned and removed the sticky things, the admissions nurse came in requesting my insurance card, and the doctor shows with a look of fear on his face. Another nurse rushed in with medication; four chewable baby aspirin and nitro glycerin.
Nurse: Here, take these chewable baby aspirin.
Me: With my gum in my mouth?
Nurse: (no response) Place this under your tongue, its nitro glycerin.
Me: I can keep the gum in my mouth.
Nurse: (no response)
Needless to say I kept the gum in my mouth and the nitro under my tongue and I thought I couldn’t multi-task. During this flurry someone contacted the paramedics because they came with the gurney and the questions. Apparently, I’m supposed to be in a great deal of pain. It felt like heart burn to me and I couldn’t quite grasp why everyone else was sooooo excited. I wish these people would calm down. Once the medical banter between the doctor and the paramedics they were finally ready to transport me to Ellis Hospital. The ER doc informed me that I need a heart cauterization. That got my attention. I knew exactly what that was since mommy had one when she had congestive heart failure in September and was transferred to St. Peter’s Hospital. I still remained calm. I was about to receive my first ambulance ride only there would be no one following behind like I did for my mom.
Ok, there’s that brief moment of sadness and loneliness during the medical emergency which I quickly dismissed. No time for that right now boi, get it together. And together I got it. Well having a cute paramedic, without a wedding ring, helped :)…(To be continued)
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Time Warner Cable
Saturday, June 5, 2010
12:19 AM
Ok, what's up with Time Warner Cable. I mean, the new upgrade is nice and all but the constanct rebooting, tiling and freezing is getting on my last nerve. Not to mention that the DVR tends to not record the entire show at a crucial part in a series like American Idol. Good thing I was watching the finale. What recorded was, "and the winner is..."
Who has time to wait for the service man or to disconnect the box and take to the office for a new one. I certainly don't. At least not at the moment. Maybe by the fall line up.
I'm just saying.
12:19 AM
Ok, what's up with Time Warner Cable. I mean, the new upgrade is nice and all but the constanct rebooting, tiling and freezing is getting on my last nerve. Not to mention that the DVR tends to not record the entire show at a crucial part in a series like American Idol. Good thing I was watching the finale. What recorded was, "and the winner is..."
Who has time to wait for the service man or to disconnect the box and take to the office for a new one. I certainly don't. At least not at the moment. Maybe by the fall line up.
I'm just saying.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Wayne, I'll Miss You
FRIDAY, JUNE 4, 2010
9:15 PM
Text message from my BFF, Sheilah – Monday, May 31, 2010 7:50 AM
“Good morning love, i heard the sad news, I’m sorry but happy wayne is now at peace…How are you doing? I truly hope ur taking care of yourself..”
I did not know that my friend had passed, though it was announced in several churches on Sunday. Wayne and I became very good friends when I moved back to the Albany area in 2001. I enjoyed the music workshops he hosted at Union Missionary Baptist Church where my mother (Joyce) was a member for 31 years. She passed on February 2, 2010 prior to my commencement of blog journaling. Things are happening so quickly that I cannot seem to keep up. Events may be out of order but that is my life at the present time, “Out of Order”.
During her hospitalization in September of 2009, which began the rapid downward spiral of her health, Wayne walked me through the symptoms and expectations of Pulmonary Fibrosis. He had already done his research since he was diagnosed months prior and did not mince words with me. I loved that about him. If you wanted the plain truth without sugar coating, he was the man to give it to you. In that vein he and I were the same. I shared the progression of the disease with him. He wanted to know what to expect and prepare himself for his progression. A month after my mother’s burial, February 6, 2010, I received a call from Wayne requesting that I sit with him on the weekends to relieve his sister Geneva. I fully understood and honored the request. I identified fully and longed for relief during my mother’s illness. Thank GOD for the hospice volunteers who would come by in the afternoons and allow me to run errands for a couple of hours. Though I was in mourning, Wayne and I remained in touch. We would have weekly chats, usually Friday afternoons on my lunch break at work or when the spirit moved him to call me during the week after working hours. We always seem to lift each other’s spirit. “You’re so stupid”, he would say after I made him laugh uncontrollably with one of my dramatic stories.
One of our conversations went a little something like…
Wayne: Am I going crazy?
Me: What do mean?
Wayne: Some days I’m full of energy but by the time I get washed, dressed and have breakfast I’m exhausted.
Me: Nah man, you’re not going crazy. That’s what mommy experienced too. It would bug me out. We would plan to get out and take a drive and by the time we go it together she was too tired to go anywhere.
Wayne: So, I’m not crazy.
Me: No you’re not crazy. Remember, you told me that there would be good days and she should save some of that energy for the bad ones. What. You’re not practicing what you preach.
Wayne: Boy, stop it. You’re going to make me go into a laughing fit again and that hurts.
Me: Oh, I’m sorry…I’m just saying. (we both begin to laugh)
Wayne: I like talking to you. You’re always honest with me.
Me: We’ve always been honest with each other. You alright?
Wayne: Yeah.
Me: Ok, I’m gonna let you go now and get some rest. Just know that you can ask me anything and I will tell you what I know and have experienced as long as you can handle it.
Wayne: Edward, thank you. I appreciate that. You always give it to me straight.
Me: I always tell people, if you don’t want the truth then don’t ask me the question. Good night buddy, luv ya.
Wayne: luv ya too. Good night.
We conversed like this for a few weeks before I began staying with him on the weekends. Our weekends were fun. He knew I wasn’t going to bother him about eating. I knew that his appetite would come and go and when he was hungry he’d tell me what he wanted. I just hoped it wasn’t a request like my mothers. She wanted watermelon in the middle of the winter. I was happy that she had an appetite and went out and found some watermelon. Wayne and I watched movies, I brought a dvd collection. My first weekend with Wayne was from 12:00 PM Saturday to 4:00 PM Sunday. We talked mostly and only watched two movies. We enjoyed each other’s company and I told him I could sit with him again if he needed me. He said, “Edward, I need you in my presence more”. Wow, that was honest direct and deep. I became the weekend guy for the month of April and the first two weekends in May before my heart attack.
Douglas W. Woodard
Woodard, Douglas W. ALBANY Douglas Wayne Woodard was called to be with the Lord on Sunday, May 30, 2010 at his home, surrounded by his loving family. Wayne was the son of the late Dora and George W. Woodard Sr. He was educated in the Albany Public School System, and was a gifted musician from the age of six. All of his life, he used that gift to glorify the Lord. Wayne was the minister of music for the Union Missionary Baptist Church for more than 30 years. He also was the musician for various singing groups, schools, organizations, and other churches throughout the Capital District as long as his health would allow. Wayne was one of the first heart transplants in the Capital District and one of the longest survivors. Left to cherish Wayne's memory is his loving son, Maurice Q. (Marsha) Woodard; grandson, Jaedon Q. Woodard; four sisters, E. Geneva Conway, Menands, N.Y., Ethel Mae (James) Locke, Fayetteville, N.C., Rose M. (Samuel) Koonce, Rose "Gerry" (Allen) Brandon, both of Albany, N.Y.; three brothers, George W. (Janice) Woodard Jr., Albany, Willie L. Woodard, Honolulu, Hawaii, his twin, David B. (Cheryl) Woodard, Stratford-on-Avon, United Kingdom; 13 nieces, three nephews; five godchildren; and many dear relatives and friends, too numerous to name. Wayne was preceded in death by his parents, George and Dora Woodard; one sister, Catherine Brown; two brothers-in-law, Philip Conway and Theodore Brown; two nephews, Kenneth Harrison and Robert Koonce; one great-niece, Yolanda Locke and his dear friends, John Kornegay and Clarence Tyson. Relatives and friends are invited to attend his wake on Friday, June 4 from 5 to 7 p.m. at the Union Missionary Baptist Church, 3 Morton Ave. A service celebrating Wayne's life will be held on Saturday, June 5, with a calling hour at 10:00 a.m. and service starting at 11:00 a.m. at the Wilborn Temple First Church of God in Christ, 121 Jay Street, Albany. Rev. Victor E. Covington, eulogist, Rev. Solomon Dees, officiating. Interment will be in the Evergreen Memorial Park Cemetery, Rt. 5-Central Avenue, Schenectady, N.Y. The family will receive callers at 21 Clifford Rd., Menands. You may remember Wayne's life with a contribution to the Capital District Keys for Kids Music Program, P.O. Box 635, Albany, NY 12201, and/or the National Pulmonary Fibrosis Association.
My brother in Christ has gone home and he will be greeted by family and friends who have gone before. I know my mother will greet him with a warm smile and a hug. Ms. Conway and Family: May you sense the Lord’s loving presence at all times keeping you close to His heart, assuring you of His tender care and covering you with His grace.
With thoughts and prayers,
ECagelove
9:15 PM
Text message from my BFF, Sheilah – Monday, May 31, 2010 7:50 AM
“Good morning love, i heard the sad news, I’m sorry but happy wayne is now at peace…How are you doing? I truly hope ur taking care of yourself..”
I did not know that my friend had passed, though it was announced in several churches on Sunday. Wayne and I became very good friends when I moved back to the Albany area in 2001. I enjoyed the music workshops he hosted at Union Missionary Baptist Church where my mother (Joyce) was a member for 31 years. She passed on February 2, 2010 prior to my commencement of blog journaling. Things are happening so quickly that I cannot seem to keep up. Events may be out of order but that is my life at the present time, “Out of Order”.
During her hospitalization in September of 2009, which began the rapid downward spiral of her health, Wayne walked me through the symptoms and expectations of Pulmonary Fibrosis. He had already done his research since he was diagnosed months prior and did not mince words with me. I loved that about him. If you wanted the plain truth without sugar coating, he was the man to give it to you. In that vein he and I were the same. I shared the progression of the disease with him. He wanted to know what to expect and prepare himself for his progression. A month after my mother’s burial, February 6, 2010, I received a call from Wayne requesting that I sit with him on the weekends to relieve his sister Geneva. I fully understood and honored the request. I identified fully and longed for relief during my mother’s illness. Thank GOD for the hospice volunteers who would come by in the afternoons and allow me to run errands for a couple of hours. Though I was in mourning, Wayne and I remained in touch. We would have weekly chats, usually Friday afternoons on my lunch break at work or when the spirit moved him to call me during the week after working hours. We always seem to lift each other’s spirit. “You’re so stupid”, he would say after I made him laugh uncontrollably with one of my dramatic stories.
One of our conversations went a little something like…
Wayne: Am I going crazy?
Me: What do mean?
Wayne: Some days I’m full of energy but by the time I get washed, dressed and have breakfast I’m exhausted.
Me: Nah man, you’re not going crazy. That’s what mommy experienced too. It would bug me out. We would plan to get out and take a drive and by the time we go it together she was too tired to go anywhere.
Wayne: So, I’m not crazy.
Me: No you’re not crazy. Remember, you told me that there would be good days and she should save some of that energy for the bad ones. What. You’re not practicing what you preach.
Wayne: Boy, stop it. You’re going to make me go into a laughing fit again and that hurts.
Me: Oh, I’m sorry…I’m just saying. (we both begin to laugh)
Wayne: I like talking to you. You’re always honest with me.
Me: We’ve always been honest with each other. You alright?
Wayne: Yeah.
Me: Ok, I’m gonna let you go now and get some rest. Just know that you can ask me anything and I will tell you what I know and have experienced as long as you can handle it.
Wayne: Edward, thank you. I appreciate that. You always give it to me straight.
Me: I always tell people, if you don’t want the truth then don’t ask me the question. Good night buddy, luv ya.
Wayne: luv ya too. Good night.
We conversed like this for a few weeks before I began staying with him on the weekends. Our weekends were fun. He knew I wasn’t going to bother him about eating. I knew that his appetite would come and go and when he was hungry he’d tell me what he wanted. I just hoped it wasn’t a request like my mothers. She wanted watermelon in the middle of the winter. I was happy that she had an appetite and went out and found some watermelon. Wayne and I watched movies, I brought a dvd collection. My first weekend with Wayne was from 12:00 PM Saturday to 4:00 PM Sunday. We talked mostly and only watched two movies. We enjoyed each other’s company and I told him I could sit with him again if he needed me. He said, “Edward, I need you in my presence more”. Wow, that was honest direct and deep. I became the weekend guy for the month of April and the first two weekends in May before my heart attack.
Douglas W. Woodard
Published in Albany Times Union on June 3, 2010
My brother in Christ has gone home and he will be greeted by family and friends who have gone before. I know my mother will greet him with a warm smile and a hug. Ms. Conway and Family: May you sense the Lord’s loving presence at all times keeping you close to His heart, assuring you of His tender care and covering you with His grace.
With thoughts and prayers,
ECagelove
Monday, May 31, 2010
My Favorite Author Died - E. Lynn Harris (RIP)
To my dismay while creating "Authors On My Kindle", I discovered that E. Lynn Harris died.
In Memoriam: E. Lynn Harris
E. Lynn Harris's family, friends and fans mourn the passing of our
beloved author. He died on Thursday, July 23, 2009 in Los Angeles. He was 54.
In an obituary in the New York Times, Bruce Weber described him as "one of the nation's most popular writers," and said: "Mr. Harris clearly tapped a rich vein of reader interest with his racy and sometimes graphic tales of affluent, ambitious, powerful black men - athletes, businessmen, lawyers and the like - who nonetheless struggled with their attraction to both men and women. His books married the superficial glamour of jet-setting potboilers with an emotional candor that shed light on a segment of society that had received little attention: black men on the down low - that is, men who are publicly heterosexual but secretly have sex with men. Mr. Harris, who was openly gay but who lived for many years in denial or shame or both over that fact, was able to draw on his own experiences to make credible the emotional conflicts of his characters, and his readers, many of them women, were drawn to his books because they addressed issues that were often surreptitiously pertinent to their own lives."New York Times Obituary
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Heart Attack...
SUNDAY, MAY 30, 2010
4:30 PM
(continued from May 20, 2010)
…The pain subsided and I faced the dilemma of going to work or to the hospital. I knew that if I went to the hospital they would keep me and I would spend yet another birthday in a hospital bed. There was the slight possibility that they would prescribe some antibiotics and send me home. Yeah! A day off from work, that sounds good. I began to plan the days’ of activities after the emergency room, knowing in my heart – no pun intended, that I would be kept. An afternoon at the River Street Club, a Men’s Health Club, ha, ha would be fun. I fulfilled a fantasy my last weekday afternoon visit there and was anxious to try it again. My forties have been a decade of releasing my inner pig bottom and I’ll leave it at that for now.
I looked out the window towards the driveway to see if my sister had left for work. She was gone, of course she was it was already 8:15 AM. I’ve spent the last two hours fighting off chest main and calming myself. I proceeded to unlock the doors for some reason. I just had a thought that if I passed out on the floor I would want the medics and my sister to have easy access to the apartment. I didn’t want them to bust the door in and ruin the new paint job that was just done a few weeks ago. An excruciating pain ran through the center of my chest and I clutched my pearls, grab some robitussin; it relieves congestion, drank another 20 ounces of water and rocked myself in the recliner. Alrighty then, the hospital it is. What to pack? A diva must always be prepared for every occasion even the hospital. Well, I knew they would keep me so I wanted to have my things. Cell phone, iPod, Kindle, toothbrush, deodorant, beauty supplies, hair supplies, and a change of clothes. I knew they would not allow me to wear my silk pajamas since they would need easy access to all parts of my body. I would just have to deal with the hospital gown and “Make it work!” Since I wasn’t going to work there was no need for the shirt and tie. Let’s see, something casual and cute. The doctor may be hot but married however I did notice a nicely buffed nurse with no wedding ring or commitment bracelet the last time I was there with my mother. I hoped he would be attending me. He had the bluest eyes I had ever seen and a smile to die for. I darned a pair of black jeans, a blue button down casual shirt, white high tops, blue boxer shorts with black bands around the waist and thighs and a black wife beater. My hair was wavy and set not to move no matter how much I laid on it. I was ready to go, one last inventory check, bag, cell phone, iPod, Kindle, toothbrush, deodorant, beauty supplies, hair supplies, change of clothes, sick but cute look, and a sprits of Jean Paul Gautier. I was ready.
At 8:45 AM I drove myself to St. Mary’s Hospital ER without the use of my navigation system. I had been there several times before and despite the increasing pain in my chest I thought I would be able to find my way there without my mother directing me. Wrong. I made quite a few wrong turns but got there eventually by 9:05 AM. I backed into a parking spot to utilize the backup camera, boy how loved this new car. It took me four attempts to align myself just right between the white lines and a sufficient distance between the rear bumper and the wall. I casually walked into the emergency room with my red Saratoga bag draped over my shoulder. There was one person in the admitting room and one fine dude in the waiting area. He was sitting in the television section so I positioned myself to behind him and to his left so that I could discretely gaze at his profile. Granted he was sick, a deduction made due to where we were, but he was still fine. I gather he was with the other gentleman, possibly his father since the nurse escorted them both into the emergency triage and informed me to sign the paper on the counter. Oh well, maybe I would be in the triage next to him. When I began to fill out the form on the counter my HR persona took over and I began to think HIPPA violation. This form isn’t secure. Anyone could walk up and see what my illness was as well as my name, so much for confidentiality. The description of my symptoms after my name and social security number was chest pain, possible pneumonia. The nurse called me in and asked if I had ever been at St. Mary’s before, requested my insurance cards, asked if my injury/illness was work related and then wanted me to describe my symptoms. Why do they ask you to write down your symptoms and then ask you to verbally describe them again? Can’t health care professionals read? Then the attending nurse asks you the same questions to be followed by the doctor, who again asks the same questions. Hello, I’m in pain here. A little communication amongst the team members would be greatly appreciated. Well, the admitting nurse finally escorted me to the triage area around 9:30 AM and informed me that Nurse Terry would be with me momentarily in the mean time take off my clothes and put on the hospital gown… (To be continued)
4:30 PM
(continued from May 20, 2010)
…The pain subsided and I faced the dilemma of going to work or to the hospital. I knew that if I went to the hospital they would keep me and I would spend yet another birthday in a hospital bed. There was the slight possibility that they would prescribe some antibiotics and send me home. Yeah! A day off from work, that sounds good. I began to plan the days’ of activities after the emergency room, knowing in my heart – no pun intended, that I would be kept. An afternoon at the River Street Club, a Men’s Health Club, ha, ha would be fun. I fulfilled a fantasy my last weekday afternoon visit there and was anxious to try it again. My forties have been a decade of releasing my inner pig bottom and I’ll leave it at that for now.
I looked out the window towards the driveway to see if my sister had left for work. She was gone, of course she was it was already 8:15 AM. I’ve spent the last two hours fighting off chest main and calming myself. I proceeded to unlock the doors for some reason. I just had a thought that if I passed out on the floor I would want the medics and my sister to have easy access to the apartment. I didn’t want them to bust the door in and ruin the new paint job that was just done a few weeks ago. An excruciating pain ran through the center of my chest and I clutched my pearls, grab some robitussin; it relieves congestion, drank another 20 ounces of water and rocked myself in the recliner. Alrighty then, the hospital it is. What to pack? A diva must always be prepared for every occasion even the hospital. Well, I knew they would keep me so I wanted to have my things. Cell phone, iPod, Kindle, toothbrush, deodorant, beauty supplies, hair supplies, and a change of clothes. I knew they would not allow me to wear my silk pajamas since they would need easy access to all parts of my body. I would just have to deal with the hospital gown and “Make it work!” Since I wasn’t going to work there was no need for the shirt and tie. Let’s see, something casual and cute. The doctor may be hot but married however I did notice a nicely buffed nurse with no wedding ring or commitment bracelet the last time I was there with my mother. I hoped he would be attending me. He had the bluest eyes I had ever seen and a smile to die for. I darned a pair of black jeans, a blue button down casual shirt, white high tops, blue boxer shorts with black bands around the waist and thighs and a black wife beater. My hair was wavy and set not to move no matter how much I laid on it. I was ready to go, one last inventory check, bag, cell phone, iPod, Kindle, toothbrush, deodorant, beauty supplies, hair supplies, change of clothes, sick but cute look, and a sprits of Jean Paul Gautier. I was ready.
At 8:45 AM I drove myself to St. Mary’s Hospital ER without the use of my navigation system. I had been there several times before and despite the increasing pain in my chest I thought I would be able to find my way there without my mother directing me. Wrong. I made quite a few wrong turns but got there eventually by 9:05 AM. I backed into a parking spot to utilize the backup camera, boy how loved this new car. It took me four attempts to align myself just right between the white lines and a sufficient distance between the rear bumper and the wall. I casually walked into the emergency room with my red Saratoga bag draped over my shoulder. There was one person in the admitting room and one fine dude in the waiting area. He was sitting in the television section so I positioned myself to behind him and to his left so that I could discretely gaze at his profile. Granted he was sick, a deduction made due to where we were, but he was still fine. I gather he was with the other gentleman, possibly his father since the nurse escorted them both into the emergency triage and informed me to sign the paper on the counter. Oh well, maybe I would be in the triage next to him. When I began to fill out the form on the counter my HR persona took over and I began to think HIPPA violation. This form isn’t secure. Anyone could walk up and see what my illness was as well as my name, so much for confidentiality. The description of my symptoms after my name and social security number was chest pain, possible pneumonia. The nurse called me in and asked if I had ever been at St. Mary’s before, requested my insurance cards, asked if my injury/illness was work related and then wanted me to describe my symptoms. Why do they ask you to write down your symptoms and then ask you to verbally describe them again? Can’t health care professionals read? Then the attending nurse asks you the same questions to be followed by the doctor, who again asks the same questions. Hello, I’m in pain here. A little communication amongst the team members would be greatly appreciated. Well, the admitting nurse finally escorted me to the triage area around 9:30 AM and informed me that Nurse Terry would be with me momentarily in the mean time take off my clothes and put on the hospital gown… (To be continued)
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